Douglas, are you superstitious?
Guess so! I have to eat something yellow before an important occasion. Obviously not today.
A well-known person you recognize as similar to you in spirit?
None, but maybe Martin Luther, because of our deep bright eyes. In my ideal world we both enjoy the company of little squirrels.
What is your take of the future Oscar shitstorm?
Frankly, this has always been a minefield.
What do you think about the international situation?
I think it is currently quite brutal, since there are countries where it is difficult to find even a just tolerable corn dog with or without mayo.
If I may ask, do you have any particular phobia?
Yes, I do! I suffer from an unreasonable fear for mechanical typewriters, owing to a strange accident occurred to my aunt. I'm also terrified by roller coasters, but that is quite common.
Douglas, some witnesses have seen you in a compromising location with a celebrity whose name and whose gender I've not the authorization to tell. Have you something to add?
Do you mean P.P.? That was an innocuous thing. I deny any other such "situation", expecially one with O.J...
I may have a picture.
Well, the photo is probably just an accident...
An accident? I do not understand.
You know, accidents occur all the time. Like when you accidentally take a double exposure. Or, for example, your cat or your office may "by accident" explode. Are we clear now?
Now that I look at it under a better light, this is probably a photo of my mother-in-law...
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