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(absolutely unreal confabulations)
A talk with Nicole Kidman
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Nicole Kidman
Nicole Kidman born June 20th, 1967 (Gemini)
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Nicole Kidman likes to imagine that in an alternative universe she is a Teddy bear (pixabay photo)

Do you like to cook?
Negative! But I like to create salads. My gem is a mix of beef jerk and bean sprouts, which I assume can be fine for both vegans and normal people.

Would you like to share the recipe with us?
Sure! You take the beef jerk and the bean sprouts and you make a bunch of sandwiches using some baguettes.

Baguettes?
Do not mind, I derived the recipe from one for a sandwich. After you made those sandwiches, you dispose of the bread and mix beef jerk and bean sprouts with some lemon juice and you are done!

Nowaday the problem of osteoporosis in foxes is reaching gigantic proportions. Is Nicole Kidman doing anything in this respect?
I think so! I will chastely sleep in a bunk bed with a devotee one night a week. The profits ($1,100 per night) will be granted to a charity for the cure of osteoporosis in foxes.

You were amazing in "Moulin Rouge". Were you given plenty of freedom to shape your character?
Oh, yes! Oh, I nailed it! The director was like clay in my hands.

Nicole, are you superstitious?
I guess so! I need to avoid any food whose name contains the letter "B" before a critical occasion. Obviously not this one.

An imaginary character you recognize as your doppelganger?
As my fans like to think, Louis Pasteur, because of our shared moral standings.

When your are not acting, which is your main diversion?
I think that dyeing troll dolls' hair rests my mind. I prefer to paint them in yellow and blue.

I will not deceive you by falsely stating that Nicole Kidman's secret telephone number is listed here :
3444079811 2633165232 2728423392 6630691193 3811028763 9108937534 2564314691 4347845449 295370355 7152528970 4786716309 5305636366 307803186 8501809193 2321111765 8670121854 863291784 8058003970 2078260407 8036713978
I patiently queued up forever for a chance to have a short meeting with Nicole Kidman. The resulting piece was imposing, like "Don Quixote" rewritten by Mandrake. Hence, it was very lamentable that my armadillo by accident ate my only copy! After I showed vital signs again, I tried to recapture those great words. I want to be clear, I'm not really so sure this web page contains an entirely genuine chronicle of our conversation, and I'm starting to wonder if it ever was real...
Other interviews worth checking:
Donald Trump Joan Armatrading Jena Malone Harrison Ford Oleta Adams Gillian Anderson Kurt Russell Joss Stone Marianne Faithfull Jamie Dornan Drea de Matteo Kate Hudson Aaron Taylor-Johnson T.J. Miller Wil Wheaton Mary-Louise Parker Tom Hiddleston Cher Lloyd Fiona Apple Jada Pinkett Smith
NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.
a YUT (Yelling Useless Things) exclusive.