Yelling Useless Things
(completely simulated confabulations)
An interview with Geri Halliwell
Geri Halliwell
Geri Halliwell born August 6th, 1972 (Leo)
During her last concert, Geri Halliwell has pleased her followers by wearing a Versage dress (the genuine Romanian sub-brand) fully made of pine needles (source)

You seem to be always so positive and cheerful. Do you also have a dark side?
I do. I think that every person has a dark side. Sometimes, when I see a colleague, my heart darkens and my teeth chatter with fury. And suddenly, I experience a compulsion to seal forever those gazing eyes. And then there is my dark side... You do not want to hear about that side.

I heard that you will soon participate to a charity cooking marathon. Would you tell us why'd you decide to undertake such a humiliating effort?
It was my best friend's idea.

And since when did you feel a need to address the delicate issue of botulism?
Since my pet gopher had it.

Do you like to cook?
To be frank, I believe that cooking is a huge waste of time, since there are supporters and diners more than willing to deliver my daily dose of carbs and vitamines. The few times I oblige to cook for my acolytes, I like to improvise salads. My treasure is a mix of salami and seitan, which I assume can be fine for both vegs and normal people.

Intriguing! Could you share the recipe with us?
Indeed! You take the salami and the seitan and you make a bunch of sandwiches using some bread rolls.

Bread rolls?
It does not matter, I obtained the recipe from one for a sandwich. So you make the sandwiches, then you discard the bread and mix salami and seitan with some bbq sauce and you are done!

Do you know the "word association" game? I say a word and you answer with the first word that comes to mind. I begin with :
Q: bear.

Geri : beard

Q: hipster
Geri : beach

Q: wake
Geri : vengeance

We are going nowhere fast...

Geri Halliwell refused to share her secret telephone number, but here is a list of random numbers you can dream about :
644097845 879909826 474963126 668993723 8242787985 2350149724 4835186486 839995150 3215289394 4875030571 7866638406 666165439 949007706 829922946 5701154916 4376664567 6796965843 5814185135 3741334495 4849762668
Let's face it, vips are very busy people. It's not easy for them to schedule an interview. So we decided to leave Geri Halliwell completely alone and to obtain the interview above without her help. Therefore, this web page is an an algorithmic transcription we obtained employing a computer simulation of Geri.
Other interviews worth checking:
Donald Trump Claire Danes Meryl Streep Mary-Louise Parker Joey King Christoph Waltz Cobie Smulders Julia Stiles Gerard Butler Amy Acker Joanna Garcia Swisher Mena Suvari Joan Baez Michelle Trachtenberg Kenny Chesney Tiffany Laura Ramsey Donald Trump Christina Aguilera Josh Duhamel
NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.
a YUT (Yelling Useless Things) exclusive.