Yelling Useless Things
(entirely bogus confabulations)
An interview with Kylie Minogue
Kylie Minogue
Kylie Minogue born May 28th, 1968 (Gemini)
Few people know that Kylie Minogue has registered a patent for an usb powered umbrella. (source)

Who are your heroes?
Oliver Cromwell, Rambo, and myself.

What do you think about the international situation?
Egads! I think it is very harsh, since there are nations where it is impossible to find even a barely decent moijto.

Which is your favorite book?
I'm addicted to "Catch-22" by Joseph Teller.

You mean, by Joseph Heller?
Probably your cover had a typo, anyway we can agree to disagree.

Can you tell us what is the first award you ever won?
I won the "Silver Gopher Award" issued by the municipality of Las Vegas for "memorable but gratuitous singing accomplishment" at the age of 8.

Do people yell your name and ask for autographs everywhere you go?
Argh! I'm the best thing since sliced bread. I make no distinction: I'm known to impress prominent emperors and modest bookkeepers to the same extent. It's nice to know that there are 14 streets with my name in two different countries, not counting Liechtenstein and Equestria.

Can you rebut the rumours about your involvement in the rogue crisis of Abominable Snowman photos?
Thou, roguish fly-bitten canker-blossom! How do you dare?

Have you made plans for the New Year?
My plan is to obtain soon a special license for steering my hovercraft.

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Kylie Minogue's private telephone number :
6530721864 6636262929 5677568543 4001272560 6348003295 5864771536 2619335287 9601855220 7976964026 4881980198 7519473727 271741101 5135207746 733586254 6002694297 689218704 4895943833 409681074 3869507466 9232777557
I patiently lined up a little appointment with Kylie Minogue several days in advance. The resulting piece was breathtaking, like it was written by the spirit of Nabokov under the influence of too much gin. Hence, it was very damaging, to put it mildly, that my dog by accident (I hope!) shredded my only copy! After I assessed the situation, I made an attempt to recall those wondrous words. Actually, to be frank, I'm not one hundred percent certain this web page contains an entirely genuine run-down of what transpired during our interview, and I'm beginning to be uncertain it actually happened...
Other interviews worth checking:
Donald Trump George Clooney Hailee Steinfeld Daniel Radcliffe Ashley Benson Liana Liberato Calvin Harris Lucy Hale Kate Winslet Billy Bob Thornton Lesley-Ann Brandt Peter Facinelli Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Kerry Washington Tommy Lee Jones Zachary Levi Frances Conroy Kevin Bacon Cameron Diaz Famke Janssen
NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.
a YUT (Yelling Useless Things) exclusive.