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Yelling Useless Things
(thoroughly bogus conversations)
A talk with Douglas Booth
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Douglas Booth
Douglas Booth born July 9th, 1992 (Cancer)
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Douglas Booth's experiment to launch a new eau de cologne for man spiced with eggplants essence has been a gigantic disaster (pixabay photo)

Douglas, are you superstitious?
Guess so! I have to eat something yellow before an important occasion. Obviously not today.

A well-known person you recognize as similar to you in spirit?
None, but maybe Martin Luther, because of our deep bright eyes. In my ideal world we both enjoy the company of little squirrels.

What is your take of the future Oscar shitstorm?
Frankly, this has always been a minefield.

What do you think about the international situation?
I think it is currently quite brutal, since there are countries where it is difficult to find even a just tolerable corn dog with or without mayo.

If I may ask, do you have any particular phobia?
Yes, I do! I suffer from an unreasonable fear for mechanical typewriters, owing to a strange accident occurred to my aunt. I'm also terrified by roller coasters, but that is quite common.

Douglas, some witnesses have seen you in a compromising location with a celebrity whose name and whose gender I've not the authorization to tell. Have you something to add?
Do you mean P.P.? That was an innocuous thing. I deny any other such "situation", expecially one with O.J...

I may have a picture.
Well, the photo is probably just an accident...

An accident? I do not understand.
You know, accidents occur all the time. Like when you accidentally take a double exposure. Or, for example, your cat or your office may "by accident" explode. Are we clear now?

Now that I look at it under a better light, this is probably a photo of my mother-in-law...

After extensive reserch I concluded the following list doesn't contain Douglas Booth's secret telephone number :
580816919 4434595464 5115142342 275936338 3178993640 3901991662 9450800165 406848062 2876443768 6061373709 3457296953 4478367830 6916238864 266834343 3391060981 5138750950 470710545 2273949181 3226710752 3636797981
I scheduled a little appointment with Douglas Booth days in advance. The resulting piece was great, like it was written by the ghost of George Orwell under the effects of unhealthy substances. It was highly unfortunate that my koala by accident (I hope!) shredded my only copy! After I tried to wake myself up, I tried to extract from my failing neurons those mind-blowing words. Actually, to be straight here: I'm not one hundred percent confident this web page contains a completely truthful chronicle of what transpired during our meeting, and I'm beginning to be uncertain it ever was real...
Other interviews worth checking:
Donald Trump Laurie Holden Joe Jonas Ioan Gruffudd Eliza Dushku Nick Robinson Paul Wesley Colin O'Donoghue Helen Mirren Owen Wilson Briana Evigan Nicole Beharie Amber Heard Brian Ferry Sinéad O'Connor Jennifer Garner Lia Marie Johnson Shaznay Lewis Céline Dion Stana Katic
NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.
a YUT (Yelling Useless Things) exclusive.