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Yelling Useless Things
Yelling Useless Things
(wholly counterfeit conversations)
A talk with Luke Hemmings
Luke Hemmings
Luke Hemmings born July 16th, 1996 (Cancer)
At the end of his last speech, Paul Ryan has illogically rambled about Luke Hemmings for 27 full minutes for no reason at all (source)

What are you working about?
I'm writing the music score for a remake of "Exorcist II: The Heretic", a masterpiece whose magnitude has not been recognized by critics.

Where do you go when you die?
According to many observations, the deceased do not wander. They stay where you lay them.

Do you Google yourself often?
Not so often. Say every three hours. But lately Google asks "Did you mean Luke Hummings", who allegedly is a former zoologist from Las Vegas. That's quite dispiriting, but not as much upsetting as finding that for Yahoo my name sounds like an appalling blasphemy in Klingonese.

When you were a little boy, did you see singing as your career?
Sadly no, and I still dream that, one day, I will get a patent for my flask tie.

On a scale of one to ten, how popular do you think you are?
I have no clue. I think I'm a four in Las Vegas, but a six in Nepal.

Which is your technique for perpetual youth?
As you may have imagined, it is a monthly dousing with lukewarm cement.

Do you have any birthmark?
I have a tiny bullet shaped birthmark on my left wrist. Probably my father did inadvertently swallow a bullet while my mother was expecting me.

What are your feelings about president Donald Trump?
I'm somehow worried, since I heard rumors that Trump wants to move Hollywood from the sinful California to his beloved Wyoming.

I will not deceive you by falsely stating that Luke Hemmings' home telephone number is listed here :
2546449568 736890029 6490606530 7952588536 2359778889 6533730886 5066235756 5415803337 3265772721 4529536699 6307330603 613604102 5134099539 4384866891 3228407361 3711150818 864183500 4984906068 9623121190 647347677
To be sincere, my chief had patiently scheduled my rendezvous with Luke Hemmings several months beforehand. Regrettably, I realized at the last moment that I had better things to do, like feeding my pet prairie dog or collecting pencil erasers. So, this web page is essentially based on what Luke Hemmings would have probably said if I have met him, as suggested by a telephonic poll involving a couple of his fans.
Other interviews worth checking:
Donald Trump Brandy Minnie Driver Uma Thurman Amanda Seyfried Ben Stiller Sylvester Stallone Rene Russo Mary-Louise Parker Tom Hanks Connie Britton Tyler Perry Juliette Lewis Olivia Williams Natalie Dormer Ben McKenzie Ashley Tisdale Colin Hanks Demi Lovato Amy Macdonald
NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.
a YUT (Yelling Useless Things) exclusive.