Yelling Useless Things
(fully bogus interviews)
An interview with Katee Sackhoff
Katee Sackhoff
Katee Sackhoff born April 8th, 1980 (Aries)
James Phillips, the new Katee Sackhoff's head of security, is constantly experimenting alternative ways to keep at bay stalkers and disturbing fans (source)

Do you have any birthmark?
Indeed! I have a little canary shaped birthmark on my right elbow. Probably my father did have a nightmare involving a canary while my mother was pregnant.

A fictional character you recognize as an inspiration?
As a poll suggests, Morticia Addams, because of our shared moral standings.

What do you think about the international situation?
Holy moly! I think it is currently quite grim, since there are regions where it is impossible to find even a tolerable margarita.

Katee, which is your favorite fruit?
I call it "Katee's prodigy". In the middle of one of my studies in the Amazon basin, I uncovered a little shrub unknown to botanists, now named Odontodanta biflora, that blooms only every 9 years. It then gives fruits whose flavor reminds of watermelons and mustard. It seems unappealing, but it's kind of moreish.

If happiness were an animal, what would it be?
I figure a bear. A big, fat, tranquil bear, satiated and sleepy in a summer breeze.

Do you know Gary Brooks (a former butcher, now a cardiac technician) from North Las Vegas?
Not personally, but my cousin has been betrothed to him for 2 months. Then there was a public embarrassment about the odd suicide of a former lover, so their engagement came to a sudden ending.

Do you have any new tattoos?
Actually I do! I have a white kangaroo on my arm. It is radioactive, so I can be rescued if I get lost in a storm of snow, but unluckily it works better if I'm somehow undressed.

Which is your trick to achieve spotless skin?
Only few know it is a weekly scrubbing with cold cement.

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Katee Sackhoff's secret telephone number :
201612405 7552691975 3068997427 3247508141 9986428696 7599487606 390767026 7409509002 4737459555 2185547955 6135399723 386268941 2850722787 6642745657 7336573103 5238952591 3029685837 2563880654 2194398774 3089219115
I patiently scheduled a brief meeting with Katee Sackhoff several months in advance. The resulting interview was amazing, like it was written by the ghost of Kafka under the effects of prescription exotic beverages. It was awfully deplorable that my ferret (maybe on purpose!) set my only copy on fire! After I slept over it, I made an attempt to extract from my crumbling memory those great words. I want to be clear here: I'm not really so confident this web page contains a completely truthful report of what transpired during our conversation, and so I'm starting to doubt it ever took place...
Other interviews worth checking:
Donald Trump Liam Neeson Frances Conroy Piper Perabo Drew Barrymore Kim Wilde John Cusack Brie Larson Jack O'Connell Antonio Banderas Joseph Morgan Denise Crosby Katharine McPhee Linda Cardellini Shirley Henderson Frankie Valli Lizzy Caplan Ed Harris Britney Spears Madonna
NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.
a YUT (Yelling Useless Things) exclusive.