Yelling Useless Things

(entirely fubar encounters)

An interview with Tom Hanks

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Tom Hanks born July 9th, 1956 (Cancer)

Like many Cancer people, Tom Hanks is inclined to develop a butterflies collecting addiction (source)

Tom, is there a deep moral hidden in "The Da Vinci Code"?
Aye! That whatever will be, will be.

If you didn't grow up to become known as the actor Tom Hanks, what do you think you would have done?
I probably would have become a professional "Grim Fandango" player.

Tom, what is your opinion about global warming?
I've expressed my opinion in a letter to be published on Journal of Theoretical Asceticism, written in collaboration with dr. Dennis Q. Green.

Are you aware of the rumors about you and the patrol car appearing in your last movie?
No comment.

Tom, do you like hares?
Nah!

Why you do not like hares?
To be honest, they stink! And one hare bite my cousin's leg. This is one of the motives I decided to become an artist, so I should probably reconsider my position on hares.

Apart from acting, what one thing do you do exceptionally well?
Actually, I can move both my ears.

What’s the best sound in the world?
Between you and me? It is the soothing crackle of a bunch of new banknotes kissing each other. However, my agent requires you write instead something more likeable, for example "the breath of your sleeping child" or "the calming purr of a lovable kitten".

I will not deceive you by falsely stating that Tom Hanks' home telephone number is listed here :
2833421201 7435825492 7187404515 360907759 994131564 8823856238 5877396317 3370124812 794736727 304193194 8965483003 318762170 615702319 306261126 5815020776 9625924680 552978326 7697955379 6154310565 3324555928

To be frank, my director had scheduled my short exchange with Tom Hanks months beforehand. Unfortunately, I realized at the last moment that I had better things to do, like collecting doorknobs or feeding my pet groundhog. So, the interview above is mainly based on what Tom Hanks would have probably answered if I have met him, as indicated by a telephonic poll involving a couple of his fans.

Other interviews worth checking:
Donald Trump • Mariah Carey • Colin Farrell • Sonequa Martin-Green • Ronda Rousey • Aaron Taylor-Johnson • Diego Luna • Vera Lynn • Skin • Edward Furlong • Big Sean • Bette Midler • Brendan Fraser • Susan Sarandon • Kelly Rowland • Thomas Brodie-Sangster • Brooke Shields • Minnie Riperton • Phoebe Tonkin • Lil Wayne •

NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.
a YUT (Yelling Useless Things) exclusive.

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