Yelling Useless Things
(entirely simulated encounters)
A conversation with Judy Greer
Judy Greer
Judy Greer born July 20th, 1975 (Cancer)
Frank James, the new Judy Greer's head of security, is always experimenting different ways to drive off stalkers and pesky paparazzi (source)

We are here tonight with a special guest, Judy Greer, who just survived the mammoth task of her last movie. Hi, Judy, and welcome to Even More Useless Celebrity Factoids.
It's a pleasure being here, your pleasure.

What do you think of global warming?
I've explained my thoughts in an essay printed on Australasian Annals of Semiotic Topics.

If I may say so, Judy, you are well known for your eccentric demands when staying in hotels. Is it true? Can you tell us why and maybe make an example of something you usually ask?
Judy needs what Judy needs, and she generally gets it. Whether it's baobab bark or salmon-flavored cotton-candy.

Indiana Jones, Lara Croft or Professor Layton?
A restraining order prohibits me to express my opinion.

I read that you will soon be busy with a charity football match. Can you tell us why'd you decide to undertake such a titanic effort?
I had to. Because of the astral conjunction, you know.

And since when did you feel an urge to fight bronchitis?
WHAT? Bronchitis!? Is that what's it all been about? I have to call my agent.

Judy, you have been seen in an embarassing situation with a vip whose name and whose gender I'm not allowed to bring out in the open. Have you something to tell us?
Do you mean Z.H.? That is a harmless thing. I deny any other such "situation", expecially one with C.E...

I may have a photograph.
You know, I think the photo is just an impression...

An impression? I do not understand.
Yes, just an impression. Like when you got the impression everything is fine in your life and then without a motive your father and your car explode. Capiche?

I think I've lost that photo anyway...

I will not deceive you by falsely stating that Judy Greer's secret telephone number is listed here :
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I have a confession to make. My supervisor had patiently arranged my short appointment with Judy Greer several days beforehand. Unluckily, I got stoned watching a rerun of "Body of Evidence". So, the interview above is essentially the elaboration of a nightmare that ensued after a heavy dinner based on cabbage stew and deep-fried Mars bars.
Other interviews worth checking:
Donald Trump Jill Hennessy Andy Serkis Willem Dafoe Selena Gomez Olivia Williams Jake Gyllenhaal A.J. Cook Hayden Panettiere Ryan Reynolds KT Tunstall Kanye West Eliza Dushku Evan Rachel Wood Eliza Taylor Matthew Lillard Patrick Dempsey Amber Heard Benedict Cumberbatch Louis Tomlinson
NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.
a YUT (Yelling Useless Things) exclusive.