An interview with Agnes Monica
Agnes Monica
Agnes Monica born July 1st, 1986 (Cancer)
Agnes Monica's experimental launch of a new fragrance for woman spiced with fish liver extract has been an inexorable fail (pixabay photo)

In a paper appeared on Asian Annals of Modern Atomism, prof. Walter Morgan has observed that your songs are "a perfect epitome of today pragmatic mentalism". Anything to add?
I think that in his recent article published on Transactions on Structural Innatism, dr. Donald A. Hernandez utterly discredited that incoherent point of view.

Which is your favorite book?
I'm crazy about "The Book Thief" by John Cusak.

You mean, by Markus Zusak?
Maybe you are referring to the audiobook edition. Anyway, we can agree to disagree.

Does your secretary use an alias when he makes reservation for, say, a hotel suite? You know, to protect your privacy and to elude stalkers and admirers
Sure! We'll go to any length to steer clear of those punks. We generally employ the moniker "Agnes Menica".

I've heard you are writing a book on your life. Is it true?
Of course! It is unfavorable that I have so little time to write. Recently I've read the outline of the abridged version of the book "Where the Wild Things Are", and I found it quite acceptable. Hence, I've asked my agent to call the author - a certain Maurice Sendak - because I need a ghost writer so badly, but for the time being I've not heard any news.

Do you know any good hangover cures?
Yes, here it is my instant cure. In case of drunkness mix two parts of vodka, one part of mineral water and some mustard. Drink the resulting potion every 10 minutes for 2 hours.

Where will you go on your next vacation?
For my next vacation I leased a luxurious manor in a secretive valley of Blefuscu. The only complication was making a payment in Linden dollars to the kindly estate agent from Nigeria that proposed me the business on internet.

What's the most uncanny nightmare you’ve ever had?
Not really a dream: I was alone in a desolate gloomy space. A foul flavor in my mouth. Then I realized I got wasted at a screening of "Lady In The Water" in a murky drive-in near Seattle.

And now a bunch of numbers which are not Agnes Monica's secret telephone number :
953037544 522392310 6009902852 707017229 5383179606 9271119225 751589469 3104994967 3099742252 5403267414 2798014768 6266272610 2693277227 989805589 6322151233 824312589 8555946951 503222359 3919722387 5091337074
My boss had patiently set up my hurried meeting with Agnes Monica many days beforehand. Unfortunately, my pet horse got albinism, so I had to skip the rendezvous. So, this web page is essentially the elaboration of a dream I had after a heavy dinner based on deep-fried Mars bars and beans.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.