A conversation with Agnetha Fältskog
Agnetha Fältskog
Agnetha Fältskog born April 5th, 1950 (Aries)
The enraptured appearance of fans who have met Agnetha Fältskog (pixabay photo)

I'm here today with a special guest, Agnetha Fältskog, who just made her way through her last album. Hi, Agnetha, and welcome to People We Hate to Love.
I say it was about time you folks invited me. I saw Evan Peters the other day and, to be honest, I did not like it a bit.

In a paper published on International Metaphysical Quarterly, prof. Jason Y. Stewart observed that your songs are "a supernatural quintessence of modernistic conceptual cognitivism". Any comment?
Well, I think that in his interesting article printed on Journal of Theological Inquiry, dr. Carl Parker completely refuted that superficial observation.

If there was another movie produced about your life, who do you think should play you, and why?
It should be Stephanie Moseley. I liked her as Tarzan.

Are you allergic to anything?
Yes, I'm allergic to calcium carbonate, liars and moose milk (please, don't ask!).

Do you Google yourself often?
Say every day or so. But lately Google says "Including results for Agnetha Fältskag", who turns out to be a retired nut grower from Reno. That's quite dispiriting, but not as much embarassing as finding that according to Bing my name is similar to a terrible curse in Yiddish.

Have you ever had a supernatural experience?
Well, several years ago I was crossing Romania in a battered pick-up with a friend and we did "that" in the tent, in the middle of nature.

What happen if you play your song "Wrap Your Arms around Me" backward?
Medical investigations discourage this practice. I heard that there can be troublesome long-term effects like common cold or loss of appetite.

You seem to be always so jovial and chirpy. Do you also have a dark side?
It's difficult to confess it, but I do. I really believe that everyone has a dark side. Sometimes, when I see a so-called artist, rage darkens my heart and I shiver with hatred. And all of a sudden, I experience an impulse to erase that moron from the earth and whirl on her cold tomb. And then there is my dark side... You do not want to anything to do with it.

After extensive reserch I concluded the following list doesn't contain Agnetha Fältskog's home telephone number :
4450898813 660890437 490994340 8120422345 2587288528 3253356754 392269640 285140434 855092409 7103994938 9598221648 7992422179 7019376457 348971094 5442225053 4438977679 8272366588 6157417445 621384126 3653390746
Let's face it, celebrities are very frantic people. It's difficult for them to fix an interview. So we decided to leave Agnetha Fältskog completely alone and to obtain the interview above without disturbing her. Hence, this web page is an a cybernetic transcription we obtained via a computer simulation of Agnetha.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.