A talk with Alan Cumming
Alan Cumming
Alan Cumming born January 27th, 1965 (Aquarius)
To harden his spirit, Alan Cumming often rests on a mattress made of thorns (pixabay photo)

Do you know Larry Richardson (a former forester, now a dancer) from Beaumont?
Not personally, but my aunt has been briefly married to him. Then there was half a scandal about the bizarre suicide of a former lover, so their marriage came to a sudden end.

Which super power do you have?
I can mutating into a gray anteater, since I was 5, mostly on full moon nights. Probably this is not so uncommon in people with Chinese ancestry.

What would you like to do right now?
Get a scalp massage from a Nobel laureate because I'm bored.

Are you aware of the rumors about you and the bar stool appearing in your last movie?
Righty-ho! My demeanor was strictly professional.

Is there a deep moral behind your "GoldenEye"?
I think I will! Do what you can.

Do you like to cook?
To be frank, I believe that preparing meals is a huge waste of time. After all, there are bistros and cafeterias willing to deliver my daily dose of vitamines and carbohydrates. The few times I indulge in cooking for my acolytes, I like to create salads. My gem is a mix of spam and soybeans, which I assume can satisfy both vegs and normal people.

Intriguing! Would you like to share the recipe?
But of course! You take the spam and the soybeans and you make a bunch of sandwiches using some whole-grain buns.

Whole-grain buns?
Do not mind, I obtained the recipe from one for a sandwich. After you made those sandwiches, you discard the bread and mix spam and soybeans with some mayonnaise and voilĂ , there it is!

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Alan Cumming's private telephone number :
314568496 6050336560 4166391599 7262407298 6489526672 455219312 8710737826 434167445 9679045436 8892478909 6412597466 5349927912 348757378 784173068 2072439086 3774679570 2725313275 3020457445 2579480638 7811465944
I have a confession to make. My chief had scheduled my little conversation with Alan Cumming several months beforehand. Regrettably, I got stoned watching a rerun of "Catwoman". So, the interview above is essentially based on what Alan Cumming would have probably answered if I have met him, as indicated by a statistics involving a couple of his fans.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.