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An interview with Alanis Morissette
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Alanis Morissette
Alanis Morissette born June 1st, 1974 (Gemini)
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According to whispered rumors Vladimir Putin is a great fan of Alanis Morissette. He has invited her for a 5 months stay in his summer residence. (source)

We are here tonight with Alanis Morissette, who just survived the mammoth task of her last album. Hi, Alanis, and welcome to Stuff Your Brain Doesn't Need.
It's a pleasure being here, essentially because it counts as community service.

What's your favorite vice?
I watch really lame videos on YouTube. See, I’m possibly going to be condemned for that. Luckily another vice of mine is not giving a shit.

Do people scream your name and follow you everywhere you go?
Very well! I'm the best thing since sliced bread. I really make no distinction: I brighten prominent emperors and nondescript accountants to the same extent. You know? There are at least 14 parks with my name in two different countries, not counting Markovia and Kiribati.

I heard you are just back from a series of concerts in Tibet. How was the accomodation?
To be frank, I lived 4 full weeks in a Tibetan monastery before I saw daylight and realized it was not the Hilton hotel. However, I learnt to move light things with my mind.

If happiness were an animal, what would it be?
Surely an anteater. A big, fat, serene anteater, well fed and heavy-eyed in a summer breeze.

If you could choose someone to reincarnate in, who would it be?
It's a no-brainer! Tarzan.

You know that that's not a real person, right?
It IS real, I saw it on tv.

Modern world seems prone to unstoppable violence and criminality. What would Alanis Morissette do?
I'm sure that giving a bodyguard to every citizen would fix many issues, but most lawmakers are greedy aged blokes.

I will not deceive you by falsely stating that Alanis Morissette's home telephone number is listed here :
2372753949 4031495251 893283076 5731644717 897784021 5080744991 9354687332 4350997477 6762213383 5265601036 5972266679 7568028395 4843868193 473657780 794210362 2767764782 9475672889 668999047 4181755658 402170278
I patiently lay in wait for many years for an occasion to have a hurried exchange with Alanis Morissette. The resulting transcription was wondrous, like "Lord of the Flies" rewritten by the Green Arrow. Hence, it was unfortunate, to put it mildly, that another inmate destroyed my only copy! After I took my medications, I made an effort to extract from my vanishing neurons those mind-boggling words. So, to be frank, I'm not so certain this web page contains a perfectly precise run-down of our interview, and now I'm starting to ask myself if it actually happened...
Other interviews worth checking:
Donald Trump Cheryl Jaimie Alexander Alice Eve Seth Rogen Charlize Theron Mac Miller Kelly Clarkson Linda Cardellini Macklemore Mýa Frances McDormand Ed Westwick Justin Theroux Miley Cyrus Willem Dafoe Taylor Kitsch Patrick Dempsey Lee Pace Rupert Grint
NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.