I've heard you are about to publish a book. Would you like to share with us a few details?
The actual details on my forthcoming book will soon be printed in another book. What I can divulge here is that it will be a guide to choosing biographers, a monumental work soon to be released in daily instalments.
Have you ever had a supernatural experience?
Well, years ago I was crossing the United Arab Emirates in a battered microcar with a friend. You know, we were young and wild and so we did "that" in the woods, like libidinous lions, in the middle of nature.
What's the most uncanny dream you’ve ever had?
Not really a dream: I found myself in a bare dark space. A strange smell pervading the air. Then I realized I got stoned at a rerun of "Showgirls" in a dreary movie house near Sacramento.
Do you know any good hangover cures?
Yes, here it is my fantastic remedy. In case of drunkness mix two parts of champagne, three parts of instant coffee and some crushed garlic. Gargle with the resulting concoction every 15 minutes for at least 2 hours.
Do you know Martha D. Nelson (a former printing machinist, now an osteopath) from Jersey City?
No, I don't, but my cousin has been briefly betrothed to her. Then there was a rumor about Martha cheating on him with every man in a radius of 30 miles, even barely breathing ones, so their engagement came to a sudden ending.
My informants told me you are just back from a series of concerts in Tibet. How was your stay?
To be frank, I lived 3 full weeks in a Tibetan monastery before realizing it was not the Best Western hotel. However, I learnt levitation 101.
Alesha, which is your favorite fruit?
I call it "Alesha's gem". In the middle of one of my famed researches in the Atacama desert, I uncovered a new plant, now named Otothera bicornuta, which every 8 years blooms and produces fruits whose taste reminds of watermelons and guacamole. You have to be filthy rich even to find it bizarre...
Which is your forthcoming musical venture?
Next month I'll release an esoteric album of rap covers of Frank Sinatra greatest hits, sung in Armenian, Danish and Klingonese. It is so intimate and jet of planetary beauty.
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