An interview with Alexa PenaVega
Alexa PenaVega
Alexa PenaVega born August 27th, 1988 (Virgo)
Alexa PenaVega's experiment to launch a new eau de cologne line spiced with fish entrails extract has been a gigantic fail (pixabay photo)

What do you think of the controversial problem of global warming?
I think that global warming is a grave problem. Anyway, my supporters will certainly appreciate my resolution to purchase a submarine for the probable contingencies.

When you were a little girl, did you see yourself as a professional actress?
Actually, no. My imaginary friend and I decided that I would have become a bookkeeper. But, sometimes you've got to start from the bottom.

Have you made plans for the New Year?
My resolution is to obtain soon a license for navigating my submarine.

Alexa, which is your favorite fruit?
It is called "Alexa's gem". During one of my explorations of the Borneo jungle, I discovered an inconspicuous shrub unknown to botanists, now named Atherorrhena dentata, that blooms only every 4 years. It then gives fruits whose taste reminds of kiwis and black vinegar. It sounds unpalatable, but it's quite addictive.

Your zodiac sign is Virgo. May I read you your horoscope?
As you want, my friends say I'm a sucker for zodiacal rubbish.

Today a haunting uneasiness and a taxing restlessness are undermining your capability to smooth conflicts, but with respect to tomorrow today is a feast, so good luck.
Pfft! If I did believe in this zodiacal madness, now I would be crying like a baby.

Do you have any birthmark?
I have a little penguin shaped birthmark on my left forearm. Probably my father did dream a penguin while my mother was expecting me.

Do you do your own shopping?
I'm so absorbed in performing very crucial things for all the people that I can't care about such trivias. I hire a squad of economists to compile my grocery list and texting it to a gang of professional buyers distributed around the globe. For the garnments, which are always critical, I ever pay a group of surrogates, one for each body part.

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Alexa PenaVega's home telephone number :
6326938314 4787498532 7130442996 278059392 3616343855 9756063266 2125191157 7165539043 7024104810 2611597782 6784496335 8059303471 5925127488 9428082299 721614210 560854410 4639346050 4643911800 2530421201 781953894
I have a confession to make. My supervisor had patiently set up my meeting with Alexa PenaVega many days beforehand. Unfortunately, I fall asleep watching the DVD of "Loose Cannons". So, the transcript above is essentially the recollection of a dream I had after a dinner of liver sausages and raw onions.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.