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A conversation with Alexandra Burke
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Alexandra Burke
Alexandra Burke born August 25th, 1988 (Virgo)
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Last month, Alexandra Burke has sold her celebrated buttons collection to an undisclosed buyer for $330,000 (source)

Do you do your own shopping?
Like hell! I retain a squad of Georgia Tech dropouts to compile my grocery list and e-mail it to a bunch of professional buyers around the world. For the clothes, always a critical issue, I ever pay a team of stand-in, one for each body part.

Do you have any new tattoos?
Yep! I have a black squirrel on my arm. It is glowing in the dark, so I can be retrieved if I get lost in Indianapolis outskirts, but unfortunately it works better if I'm slightly undressed.

Which is your secret for eternal beauty?
Curiously, it is a bath in tomato sauce once a month.

Indiana Jones, Lara Croft or Professor Layton?
Are these the only rock groups you can name?

Is there something you would like to do right now?
Quite. Walk away on my legs.

If happiness were an animal, what would it be?
I imagine a sheep. A large, fat, poised sheep, replete and heavy-eyed in a summer breeze.

Alexandra, which is your favorite fruit?
It is called "Alexandra's surprise". In the middle of one of my famed expeditions in the Borneo rainforest, I discovered an unremarkable shrub unknown to botanists, now named Siphostimaria densiflora, that blooms only every 5 years. It then gives fruits whose taste reminds of coconuts and teriyaki sauce. You have to be extremely rich even to unlike it...

Apart from singing, is there something in which you excel?
Well, I can juggle torches while I'm on roller blades.

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Alexandra Burke's home telephone number :
904874872 4570191081 657994505 6407000540 4646618890 699262515 426954369 335486518 5236147954 4765533568 7709676767 3721252858 789025562 2205021610 371765303 2279873235 5171161444 4030231455 6496316023 3893001529
To be honest, my chief had patiently planned my hurried exchange with Alexandra Burke several months beforehand. Unfortunately, my pet bobcat got osteoporosis, so I had to skip the appointment. So, the interview above is mainly the impression of a nightmare that followed after a large dinner of wild boar stew and raw broccoli.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.