A conversation with Amber Heard
Amber Heard
Amber Heard born April 22nd, 1986 (Taurus)
Because of a bizzarre accident occurred to her aunt, Amber Heard has developed an irrational phobia for zombies and a rational one for roller coasters (pixabay photo)

Which is your favorite snack?
Strawberries with olive oil, a salmon fillet, two garlic bread slices, and a bit of gin.

Who were you in your first school play?
I remember it quite well. It was a play on the life of Charles Dickens. I played Doctor Who until somebody got smart.

Do you know Deborah Morales (a former surveyor, now a chemical plant operator) from Mobile?
No, I don't, but my cousin has been married to her for 5 weeks. Then there was a rumor about some warped selfies sent by phone to the wrong people, so their marriage came to an abrupt conclusion.

Do you know any good cough cure?
Aye! Here it is my guaranteed relief for cough. Mix two parts of white wine, one part of instant coffee and some ketchup. Apply the resulting mixture on your feet and your chin.

As everybody knows, the problem of argyria in zebras is attaining gigantic proportions. Are you doing something to solve the problem?
Might as well! I will chastely sleep in a bunk bed with a supporter one night a month. The proceeds ($1,300 per night) will be granted to an organization for the cure of argyria in zebras.

Do you have a favorite book?
I'm crazy about "Jane Eyre" by Charlot.

You surely mean, by Charlotte Brontë?
You sure? I think I've heard it both ways.

If you could choose an animal to reincarnate in, which one would it be?
Surely a snail.

I will not deceive you by falsely stating that Amber Heard's secret telephone number is listed here :
351374227 5244664329 3443391691 574191018 7648236965 9426601757 753601929 569756618 4249160003 4098981794 7580072159 9158622049 3168693137 2357077863 233314850 6887497377 9307901641 6643651668 860502680 3593358223
Let's face it, celebrities are over-booked people. It's not easy for them to find the time for an interview. So we decided to leave Amber Heard alone and obtain the interview above without disturbing her. Hence, this web page is an an extrasensorial transcription we obtained employing a certified soul reader from Reno.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.