Which is your favorite snack?
Strawberries with olive oil, a salmon fillet, two garlic bread slices, and a bit of gin.
Who were you in your first school play?
I remember it quite well. It was a play on the life of Charles Dickens. I played Doctor Who until somebody got smart.
Do you know Deborah Morales (a former surveyor, now a chemical plant operator) from Mobile?
No, I don't, but my cousin has been married to her for 5 weeks. Then there was a rumor about some warped selfies sent by phone to the wrong people, so their marriage came to an abrupt conclusion.
Do you know any good cough cure?
Aye! Here it is my guaranteed relief for cough. Mix two parts of white wine, one part of instant coffee and some ketchup. Apply the resulting mixture on your feet and your chin.
As everybody knows, the problem of argyria in zebras is attaining gigantic proportions. Are you doing something to solve the problem?
Might as well! I will chastely sleep in a bunk bed with a supporter one night a month. The proceeds ($1,300 per night) will be granted to an organization for the cure of argyria in zebras.
Do you have a favorite book?
I'm crazy about "Jane Eyre" by Charlot.
You surely mean, by Charlotte Brontë?
You sure? I think I've heard it both ways.
If you could choose an animal to reincarnate in, which one would it be?
Surely a snail.
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