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An interview with Amber Stevens
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Amber Stevens
Amber Stevens born October 7th, 1986 (Libra)
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Amber Stevens is supporting the introduction of seashells as an alternative medium of exchange to stop the diffusion of bitcoins (pixabay photo)

Amber, if I may ask, how do you invest the considerable fortune you make acting?
I invested all my money in a bullet-proof scheme developed by a financial guru named Charlie Penzi, an expert of international hedge funds (whatever it means). I will give you his number, but he did not return my calls in the last month.

Amber, is there a deep moral behind your "22 Jump Street"?
Positively! That the customer is always right.

If you could choose a someone to reincarnate in, who would it be?
It's a no-brainer: Aristotle.

Amber, you are also well known for your peculiar requests when staying in hotels. Can you explain us why and maybe make an example of something you may ask?
Amber needs what Amber needs, and she generally gets it. Whether it's a tiger cub or baobab bark.

If I may ask, do you have any particular phobia?
Yes, I do! I suffer with an irrational fear for the color purple, after a freak accident occurred to my cousin. I'm also scared by spiders, but that is quite common.

Do you Google yourself often?
Not so often anymore. Say every day or so. But lately Google asks "Did you mean Amber Styvens", who happens to be a screen printer from Las Vegas. That's quite annoying, but not as much heartbreaking as learning that for Bing my name is similar to a terrible vulgarity in Russian.

Where do you go when you die?
30 feet under, generally, but if you are incinerated then your remains can waste space on somebody's mantelpiece.

Do people scream your name and follow you everywhere you go?
Oh yes! They simply can't have enough of me. I really make no distinction: I'm known to cheer successful heirs and homely bookkeepers alike. It's nice to know that there are 13 boulevards with my name in three different countries, not counting Cardassia and Liechtenstein.

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Amber Stevens' private telephone number :
4591345237 242028792 6333458380 8130542479 8634795652 4252678997 562991902 9020773352 4906871857 783748488 291540150 7838397568 823164712 4180958846 9730187976 9946674990 816015406 5830572723 8674924252 478231125
Let's face it, vips are busy people. It's difficult for them to find the time for an interview. So we decided to leave Amber Stevens completely alone and to obtain the interview above without disturbing her. Hence, this web page is an a cybernetic transcription we obtained thanks to a computer simulation of Amber.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.