How is your relationship with movie directors?
Everything is fine, except that time in which (probably due to a double strike) a director asked me to jump from a bridge, which was somehow absurd, since that was not in the script.
Your agent told me you are just back from a filming location in Tibet. How was your stay?
To be frank, I spent 2 full weeks in a Tibetan monastery before I got the idea it was not the Hilton hotel. The silver lining? I learnt telekinesis 101.
Andrew, where did you go on your last break from work?
Last summer I rented a posh mansion on the secretive mountains of Cyprus. The contract included a drawbridge to ensure my privacy but also a flock of extras portraying admirers to let me feel at home.
In a paper published on Texan Psychological Journal, prof. Jeffrey Robinson has observed that your movies are "a tragic epitome of newfangled contextual experientialism". Which is your reaction?
I think that in his last article appeared on Transactions on Academic Herpetology, dr. Peter Ramirez completely invalidated that depthless observation.
What motivates you to act?
There is a voice in my head that motivates me. His name is Jerry. I'm sorry, but Jerry says you are an ass.
You are always in tip-top condition. Which is your secret?
I have devised the Blue Diet: during the month of April I eat exclusively blue foods, like blueberries, blue potatoes, blue corn and blue jays died by natural causes.
Who were you in your first school play?
It was rather humiliating. It was a play on the life of Oppenheimer. I was the comic relief in the part of his imaginary friend.
What's your earliest memory?
Well, I'm filming right now the ad for a new mineral water called "My Earliest Memory", so I cannot speak about the subject freely.
I would like to test that mineral water on unaware passerbies.
I'll let you have a free sample.
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