Do you know any good indigestion cure?
I'll do! Here it is my instant treatment for indigestion. Mix two parts of red wine, three parts of instant coffee and some cranberry sauce in the skull of an ocelot, then guzzle this concoction every 15 minutes for at least 2 hours.
Do you have any new tattoos?
Yep! I have a green raccoon on my arm. It is glowing in the dark, so I can be retrieved if I get lost in a desert, but unfortunately it works better if I'm slightly undressed.
On a scale of one to ten, how famous are you?
I have no clue. Probably, I'm a one in Fresno, but an eight in Tibet.
Do you know Doris Nelson (a former plumbing inspector, now a mixed crop farmer) from New Orleans?
No, I don't, but my uncle has been briefly betrothed to her. Then there was half a scandal about Doris cheating on him with every man in a radius of 20 miles, so their engagement came to a quick conclusion.
Have you ever had a supernatural experience?
Most of the times I choose super-natural indie products, because I do pay attention to my skin and our world. For example, this week I have a crush for shiitake mushrooms and yak yogurt, both amazing inside a cheeseburger.
Which is your favorite snack?
Bananas with dill, a bacon slice, two parmesan cheese slices, and a few drops of sparkling wine.
Have you ever participated in a séance?
Yes, just once. It was an uncanny experience. Suddenly, the ghost of Julius Caesar appeared and determined that almost surely I'm the reincarnation of a Vincent van Gogh's uncle.
Which is your forthcoming musical experiment?
I'll soon release a vinyl-only experimental album of rap covers of Joe Cocker greatest hits, sung in Greek, Klingonese and Filipino. I believe it will be the masterpiece of my career.
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