Austin, do you have something to say to your youngest fans?
Totally! Modern studies have proved that sniffing solvents like a Dyson vacuum cleaner may have obnoxious long-term consequences, like loss of eardrums or painful death. But fear no more! Buy "Austin's shield", now with Podotrapuvia bracteata extracts. Just $29.99 for 80 tablets, only in the best Russian minimarkets (Disclaimer : Not actually a cure. It
usually may cause rheumatism or induce paranoia. Sugar-free. One tablet contains 100% RDA of benzene).
Which is your technique for everlasting youth?
Curiously, it is an ablution with lukewarm tomato sauce twice a month.
Austin, do you have any vice?
I watch really lame videos on YouTube for hours. Well, perhaps you are going to chastise me for that, but another vice of mine is not giving a damn.
Do you do your own shopping?
I would like to, but I'm too occupied performing very crucial things to care about such minutiae. Usually, I have a crew of Harward dropouts to compile my grocery list and e-mail it to a number of pro buyers spread around the planet. For the clothes, always a critical issue, I ever employ a squad of stand-in, one for each body part.
If I may say so, Austin, you are well known for your eccentric requests when staying in hotels. Can you explain us why and maybe make an example of something you may ask?
Everybody should learn that Austin needs what Austin needs, and he always gets it. Whether it's Maori violets or green glow-in-the-dark slippers made of petals.
Do you have any scar?
Yes, I do. I have a little sea monkey shaped scar on my left knee, the result of my troublesome quarrel with a wild hamster.
What’s the best sound in the world?
Surely it is the gentle jangle of two emeralds caressing each other. But please, write instead something more suitable for publication, say, "the consoling purr of an unworried kitten" or "the joyous giggle of a happy kid ".
Have you ever had a supernatural experience?
Every day! I mostly choose super-natural products, because I do pay attention to my health and our world. For example, this week I have a fascination for miso and dried jellyfish, which I found fantastic with meat balls.
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