A conversation with BD Wong
BD Wong
BD Wong born October 24th, 1960 (Scorpio)
Less known fact: during his driving exam, BD Wong accidentally rammed a drunk rhino, with no consequences for the animal (pixabay photo)

Do you Google yourself often?
Not so often. Say every three hours. But lately Google often says "Including results for BD Wang", who turns out to be a retired sound technician from Reno. That's quite dispiriting, but not as much upsetting as discovering that according to Yahoo my name sounds like an awful vulgarity in Klingonese.

When you were a little boy, did you see acting as your career?
Sadly no, and I still dream that, one day, penguins will rule the earth without the need for secrecy.

BD, you seem to be always so jovial and vivacios. Do you also have a dark side?
It's difficult to admit it, but I do. I think that each and every one has two sides. At times, when I face a colleague, my teeth chatter with fury and hate makes my bones tingle. And suddenly, I sense an impulse to erase his sneering smug look. That is my bright side... I let you imagine how my dark side is.

BD, is there a deep moral hidden in "Jurassic Park"?
Yes, that the more you argue, the less they believe you.

Do you have a favorite brand of toilet paper?
Franky, common brands are for common people. My toilet paper is obtained from the baby leaves of Cladoseta amphibia, an elusive orchid which grows only in Borneo.

Did you ever participated in a séance?
I guess! But just one time. It was a very excruciating experience. At a certain point, the ghost of Charlemagne manifested and certified that I'm the reincarnation of Julius Caesar's food taster.

Apart from acting, is there something in which you beat everybody else?
You know, I can recite "O Captain! My Captain!" by Walt Whitman "How Soon Hath Time" by John Milton in 4 different languages including Polish.

BD, you are always in tip-top condition. Which is your secret?
I have devised the Blue Diet: in the month of May I eat only blue foods, like blueberries, robin's eggs, blue crabs and blue jays died by natural causes.

I will not deceive you by falsely stating that BD Wong's home telephone number is listed here :
2824385300 4337501242 487220941 4263524034 4782080810 3431063830 9514760621 2072591810 3702755260 3704521566 521531075 2635294510 4292097076 7659344675 554664226 9330684466 9466104040 7362475950 9376700410 329708966
To be honest, my boss had arranged my little conversation with BD Wong many days beforehand. Unfortunately, my pet zebra got bronchitis, so I had to skip the conversation. So, the transcript above is mainly the impression of a nightmare I had following a copious dinner based on beans and wild boar stew.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.