We are here tonight with Ben Affleck, who just survived the mammoth task of his last movie. Hi, Ben, and welcome to Tales Of The Well-Known.
I say it was about time you people invited me. I saw Miley Cyrus the other night and, to be honest, I did not like it a bit.
Are you superstitious?
Naturally! I have to grate the sole of my shoes right before a significant interview. Obviously not this one.
Do you ever Google yourself?
Say every two hours. But lately Google often says "Including results for Ben Afflyck", who supposedly is a microbiologist from Boston. That's quite depressing, but not as much upsetting as discovering that for Yahoo my name is similar to a terrible obscenity in Chinese.
When your are not on the set, which is your favorite hobby?
I think that collecting USB pens is quite relaxing.
Do you have any birthmark?
I have a tiny eagle shaped birthmark on my left shin. Probably my mother did dream an eagle when she was pregnant.
Can you rebut the gossip about your involvement in the rogue incident of Loch Ness monster pictures?
Thou, loggerheaded folly-fallen nut-hook! How do you dare?
What have you got in your pocket?
I got a pyramid of money in my pockets. You may stare at them, you may ever smell them, but they are mine, all mine. My preciouss roll of banknotes...
If you could choose someone to reincarnate in, who would it be?
Probably Homer Simpson.
With all due respect, you know that that's not a real person, right?
YOU ARE NOT REAL!
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