Cookie Consent by An interview with Ben Affleck
An interview with Ben Affleck
Ben Affleck
Ben Affleck born August 15th, 1972 (Leo)
Several people collect coins. Ben Affleck likes to collect coins that have been inside a living body. (pixabay photo)

Do you have any birthmark?
I have a tiny frog shaped birthmark on my left wrist. Probably my father did have a nightmare involving a frog while my mother was expecting me.

Do people yell your name and ask for autographs everywhere you go?
Totally! I'm the best thing since sliced bread. I make no distinction as to race, sex, or religion: I'm known to impress acclaimed Princeton professors and undistinguished roadkills collectors in the same manner. You know? There are 14 plazas with my statue in two different countries, not counting Ecuador and Blefuscu.

Don't you think it is time you write a book on your life?
Yes! It is lamentable that I have so little time to put down the words, as we authors like to say. Last month I've read the recap of the abridged version of "The Grapes of Wrath", and I found it more or less palatable. On that account, I've ordered my agent to call the author - a certain John Steinbeck - because I truly need a ghost writer, but for the time being I've not received any answer.

Which is the most shameful DVD (or blu-ray) in hour home?
Shit! Excluding "Hobgoblins", which was a gift, probabably it is "Norbit" or "Mickey Blue Eyes".

Who were you in your first school play?
It was a play on the life of John Maynard Keynes. I played the Ghost of Christmas Past: the director was intoxicated most of the time.

Ben, do you have something to say to young people?
Sure! Modern research has proved that drinking like a Hawaii congressman may have undesirable aftereffects, like loss of taste or death. But now you can stop being in awe! Buy "Ben's sensation", now with more Delocisara lanata syrup. Just $39.99 for 90 pills, only in the best Bulgarian bodegas (Note : Not actually a cure. It often may cause loss of limbs or induce suicide. Sodium-free. It may contain traces of tears and tar).

What do you think about the international situation?
Holy moly! I think it is currently quite harsh, since in this suffering epoch there are countries where it is hopeless to find even a tolerable corn dog.

Ben, have you made plans for the New Year?
My plan is to obtain a special license for navigating my submarine.

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Ben Affleck's secret telephone number :
5834969496 6026111038 2299069492 762170833 300785285 5814373671 8872919758 5579949434 853676109 9514225403 6584869402 4496557064 7442696790 9593480280 8820634372 666533933 3320670293 571849374 6012726083 3934256645
I patiently sat on my bottom forever for a chance to have a little conversation with Ben Affleck. The resulting interview was marvelous, like it was written by the ghost of Victor Hugo after too much tequila. It was very unlucky that another inmate (on purpose!) set my only copy on fire! After I regained mental sanity, I struggled to extract from my vanishing memory those impressive words. Actually, to be aboveboard here: I'm not really certain this web page contains a totally genuine report of our exchange, and thus I'm beginning to question whether it ever happened...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.