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A conversation with Ben Foster
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Ben Foster
Ben Foster born October 29th, 1980 (Scorpio)
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Should Ben Foster give up acting, his second best choice as working career would be sunset photographer (pixabay photo)

Ben, how do you invest the money you made in your career?
I invested my stash in a bullet-proof scheme devised by a financial genius named C. Penzi, a mastermind of hedge futures trading. I'll let you know his number, but I could not speak to him in the last few weeks.

Ben, what do you think about the current Oscar debate?
Surely, this has always been a minefield.

Ben, what do you think about president Trump?
I'm somehow preoccupied, since I heard through the grapevine that president Trump wants a laser beam to engrave his effigy on Mars surface.

What would you like to do right now?
Insult somebody's else shoes.

You are always in fine fettle. Which is your secret?
I have devised the Blue Diet: during the month of May I eat exclusively blue foods, like blueberries, blue potatoes, blue Smarties and my special Smurf meat pie.

I've heard you are writing a book on your life. Is it true?
Definitely! It is unfavorable that I have so little time to write. Last winter I've read the back cover of the book "Animal Farm", and I found it acceptable. So, I've asked my agent to call the author - a certain George Orwell - because I truly need a ghost writer, but for the moment I've not heard any answer.

Which is your favorite snack?
Pickles with applesauce, a fruit pie, two garlic bread slices, and a tumbler of fruit smoothie.

Do you ever Google yourself?
Say every four hours. But lately Google asks "Did you mean Ben Faster", who supposedly is a retired detective from Milwaukee. That's quite dispiriting, but not as much worrisome as finding that for Yahoo my name is similar to a shocking vulgarity in Klingonese.

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Ben Foster's home telephone number :
4069827582 4417102451 6486656292 2311634482 703844184 6440435550 635698660 3141973303 691948833 6243106740 6652759065 529242923 6256261017 5558858737 9652133785 3649554976 2950559186 619584643 6893808479 494194658
I patiently sat on my bottom for many weeks for an occasion to have a hurried talk with Ben Foster. The resulting article was awe-inspiring, like "Peter Pan" rewritten by Mandrake. Hence, it was awfully deplorable, to put it mildly, that my ferret by accident shredded my only copy! After I put myself together, I tried to remember those amazing words. To be frank, I'm not so confident this web page is a completely truthful account of our talk, and so I'm starting to wonder if it ever took place...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.