An interview with Ben Whishaw
Ben Whishaw
Ben Whishaw born October 14th, 1980 (Libra)
Few people know that during his driving exam, Ben Whishaw inadvertently collided with a drunk panda, with little consequences for both (pixabay photo)

Do you have a favorite flag?
I think it is that of Dinotopia. It is brown and yellow with a yellow weasel in the center. Dinotopia is a wonderful but unlucky country. They are so needy their national hymn is the Chili's jingle sung backward.

Who were you in your first school play?
It was a play on the life of Francis Bacon. I played the Lone Ranger until somebody got smart.

If happiness were an animal, what would it be?
Probably a sheep. A large, fat, tranquil sheep, well fed and sleepy in the shade of a large tree.

If I may say so, Ben, you are well known for your strange requests when staying in hotels. Is it true? Can you explain us why and maybe make an example of something you usually ask?
Ben needs what Ben needs, and he generally gets it. Whether it's pure antimony or silver-plated underwear.

Could you suggest a remedy for haemorrhoids?
All right! In case of haemorrhoids, mix three parts of champagne, two parts of coffee and some soy sauce in the skull of a kangaroo, then drink this mixture every 10 minutes for at least 3 hours.

How famous do you think you are, on a scale of one to ten?
I forgot the statistics. Probably, I'm a three in Nepal, but a nine in Denver.

Ben, do you have something to say to young people?
Sure! Don't let the color of your skin hold you back. Sun block and sunscreen have been invented for a reason.

If you could choose a someone to reincarnate in, who would it be?
Probably Kurt Vonnegut.

I will not deceive you by falsely stating that Ben Whishaw's secret telephone number is listed here :
6066034598 4844941367 2278946812 3724073742 8844006594 2304305011 5985436322 9332389078 748743898 4932831988 340182711 6276848083 6833063092 3238474314 3351165776 3670048944 7556480297 8182300924 589704911 368998237
I have a confession to make. My supervisor had lined up my little interview with Ben Whishaw days beforehand. Unfortunately, my pet raccoon got chickenpox, so I had to skip the rendezvous. So, the transcript above is mainly the recollection of a dream that ensued after a generous dinner of cabbage stew and liver sausages.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.