A conversation with Benedict Cumberbatch
Benedict Cumberbatch
Benedict Cumberbatch born July 19th, 1976 (Cancer)
Benedict Cumberbatch has obtained an honorable mention in one of the past editions of the Beard and Moustache Championship (source)

Benedict, should you give up acting, which career would you like to choose?
Probably that of chimney sweep, since I already have quite an experience in that field.

Benedict, do you have any vice?
I pretend to listen when people talk to me. It's possible that you are going to condemn me for that, but another vice of mine is not giving a shit.

Do you Google yourself often?
Not so often anymore. Say every three hours. But lately Google says "Including results for Benedict Camberbatch", who supposedly is a retired intelligence officer from Memphis. That's quite distressing, but not as much worrisome as discovering that according to Yahoo my name is similar to a shocking insult in Japanese.

When your are not on the set, which is your main hobby?
I think that collecting and trading dummies rests my mind.

I read that you will soon participate to a charity football match. Care to tell us why'd you decide to undertake such an effort?
I had to for a clause in my last contract, which obliged me to increase the number of charity events I attend.

And how long have you been feeling an urge to fight albinism?
Since I was a little boy, and my parents would argue about it.

Are you aware of the rumors about you and the cupboard appearing in your last movie?
Snap! How did you find out!? I have nothing to divulge about it.

What would Benedict Cumberbatch do to solve the issue of criminality and violence that is jeopardizing our society?
I'm sure that giving one million of bucks to every citizen can solve many issues, but most administrators are just greedy aged chaps hardly enticed by my brainy ideas.

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Benedict Cumberbatch's secret telephone number :
9739714384 821102451 5461567673 5273904158 7687305140 7010926091 5305696673 3312663783 8022290646 8027929139 3332066646 6735704627 8002418052 911086261 954887244 4791414358 910250517 2606177362 9192757923 424821609
My chief had scheduled my hurried meeting with Benedict Cumberbatch months beforehand. Regrettably, I realized I had more interesting things to do, like cultivating parasitic plants or walking my pet horse. So, the transcript above is essentially based on what Benedict Cumberbatch would have probably answered if I have met him, as indicated by a telephonic poll involving a couple of his fans.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.