A talk with Bette Midler
Bette Midler
Bette Midler born December 1st, 1945 (Sagittarius)
A neighbor, a travel companion or a bystander? Well, we have no idea, but a pixellated photo intensifies drama! (pixabay photo)

If I may ask, do you have any peculiar phobia?
That's right! I suffer from an unreasonable fear for mechanical typewriters, on account of an uncanny accident occurred to my aunt. I'm also scared by Ouija boards, but that is quite normal.

I heard you are just back from a tour in Tibet. How was your stay?
To be frank, I spent 4 weeks in a Tibetan monastery before realizing it was not the Sheraton hotel. The silver lining? I learnt to bilocate, for a couple of seconds.

When your are not on tour, which is your preferred diversion?
I think that collecting garden gnomes is quite relaxing. I like to paint them in green and yellow.

Could you improvise a poem for us.
Absolutely! Here it is

The moose of despair
The large moose of despair
dozes on the misty fields of lonelyness
while I look in the eye existence insanity.
If only it had been the pork of despair
we could have bacon at least.

One of your cornerstones, "The Rose", is a well known song of protest. Does it also have a more deep meaning?
Actually, it's a song about the chills bacon in burgers give me, and that's all.

Some witnesses have seen you in an embarassing situation with a famous person whose name and whose gender I'm not at liberty to expose. Do you have any comment?
I deny any "situation", expecially one with G.C..

I may have a photograph.
You know, I think the photo is just an impression...

An impression? I do not understand.
You know, just an impression. Like when you have the impression everything is totally fine in your life and then for no reason at all your home is searched by the CIA looking for some illicit things a dude has hidden there. Capisce?

I was just mocking you, there is absolutely no picture...

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Bette Midler's secret telephone number :
7350038437 466712875 7646531944 672361042 8453817051 4824525751 7293817998 7385804170 7446076603 2628859201 9459347470 820407740 420640460 5676262469 2427724021 4401467895 8937451466 900774715 613678619 7653471831
Let's face it, celebrities are very over-booked people. It's difficult for them to schedule an interview. So we decided to leave Bette Midler alone and obtain the interview above without her help. Hence, this web page is an a cybernetic transcription we obtained via a program we initialized with all the available info about Bette.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.