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An interview with Bette Midler
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Bette Midler
Bette Midler born December 1st, 1945 (Sagittarius)
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An acclaimed clinic in Hawaii is currently using Bette Midler's fans as subjects in an experiment on nightmares induction (source)

Who are your heroes?
Charles Darwin, Bilbo Baggins, and myself.

Bette, are you superstitious?
Sure enough! I need to spit on my elbow right before a significant work interview.

If you could choose an animal to reincarnate in, which one would it be?
Probably an anteater.

One of your best songs, "The Rose", is a planetary anthem of protest. Does it also have a secret meaning?
Yes, it really is about my secret love for Tabasco sauce.

Could you improvise a lyric for us.
Okey-doke! Here it is

The zebra of sorrow
The big zebra of sorrow
gobbles on the murky grasslands of insanity
while I look in the eye this life mourning.
If only it had been the pig of sorrow
I could have bacon at least.

Could you tell us what's your earliest memory?
I have a clear memory of the moment I saw the light. You know, it was a night in December. An almost lyric autumn night, breezy and gently decadent, still redolent of summer. And I was there, soaked from head to toe with blood, in a room full of people yelling like wolves, moving around like drunken bobcats. The first, but not the best day of my life...

You make me cry...
You are too soft. My existence is like a dive in a sea of fire. And I like every moment of it.

Apart from singing, is there one thing in which you beat everybody else?
Actually, I can recite "Jabberwocky" by Lewis Carroll in 6 different languages including Klingonese.

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Bette Midler's home telephone number :
5710100086 916498747 518344387 581760939 7376341952 2562660648 583905975 2095281282 7664464148 900014799 636979658 5127103227 2622651347 7797245669 3094699933 4560064419 9918618315 5140999914 9244490382 2123920849
I have a confession to make. My supervisor had set up my little conversation with Bette Midler many months beforehand. Unluckily, my pet gopher got anosmia, so I had to skip the interview. So, the interview above is essentially the impression of a dream that ensued after a large dinner based on beans and deep-fried eggplants.
Other interviews worth checking:
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.