A talk with Beverley Knight
Beverley Knight
Beverley Knight born March 22nd, 1973 (Aries)
Apart from singing, Beverley Knight's second best choice would be the career of professional sand castle builder (pixabay photo)

Which is your secret for everlasting youth?
As you may have imagined, it is a shower in lukewarm tomato soup twice a week.

If happiness were an animal, what would it be?
Probably a cow. A large, fat, placid cow, well fed and somnolent in the summer shade.

What is the strangest nightmare you’ve ever had?
I dreamed being blamed by a Julius Caesar impersonator. In the meantime I kept repeating "I did not sell my cousin's monkey".

Have you ever participated in a séance?
Maybe! But just one time. It was an extremely excruciating experience. At a certain point, the ghost of James Cook appeared and determined that I'm probably the reincarnation of an Aristotle's homonym.

Who are your heroes?
Noam Chomsky, Bart Simpson, and myself.

Do you have any superpower?
This is a scoop! I hear ultrasounds.

How would you describe your songs to somebody who'd never experienced it?
It is hard to imagine there is such a downcast guy! I would say that my music is like a fragrant vanilla cake with a stunning inner core made of glitter.

Which is your favorite brand of toilet paper?
I really can't stand commercial products anymore. My hand-made toilet paper is obtained from the fibers of Laphatropivia longiflora, an almost extinct bulb native of Venezuela.

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Beverley Knight's private telephone number :
6205105348 923005352 8885864937 6286929830 3713180148 8804394757 936566247 8630541467 4552148008 5100457137 525865848 265494475 450469885 2714078920 737380096 3493214248 3161445892 3447885556 6754206658 8612253887
I patiently sat tight for weeks for an occasion to have a talk with Beverley Knight. The resulting interview was great, like it was written by the spirit of George Orwell under the influence of too much vermouth. Hence, it was awfully damaging, to put it mildly, that my doctor by accident (I hope!) shredded my only copy! After I put together again my vowels and consonants, I attempted to recapture those imposing words. So, to be straight, I'm not really certain this web page is a completely factual account of what transpired during our meeting, and now I'm starting to question whether it actually happened...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.