A conversation with Beyoncé Knowles
Beyoncé Knowles
Beyoncé Knowles born September 4th, 1981 (Virgo)
Her breakfast when she is on diet (pixabay photo)

Could you tell us which is your earliest memory?
I have a somehow indistinct and strange recollection. There is a funny bearded man who is at the wheel of a car while drinking and smoking. Then at certain point he let the cigarette butt fall between his legs and after a few attempts to find it, he had to spill the content of the can on his crotch to estinguish it and meanwhile the car has an accident.

Actually it seems to me this is a well known scene from the film "The Great Lebowski".
Aw shucks! To be frank, yesterday evening I took a nap at the cineclub.

What is the strangest dream that you remember?
I dreamed being spanked by a Woodrow Wilson impersonator. I kept yelling "I did not sell my cousin's gerbil".

Beyoncé, what is your opinion about the controversial issue of global warming?
My opinion is that global warming is a grave problem. Anyway, my supporters will undoubtedly appreciate my intention to purchase a nuclear submarine for the probable emergencies.

If you didn't grow up to become known as the singer Beyoncé Knowles, what do you think you would have done?
I probably would have become a pro "Rome: Total War" player.

Do you know Carl T. Wood (a former drainer, now a ship's master) from Wichita Falls?
Not personally, but my aunt has been briefly engaged to him. Then there was a public embarrassment about some unconventional selfies sent by phone to the wrong people, so their engagement came to a sudden conclusion.

If I may say so, Beyoncé, you are also well known for your strange requests when staying in hotels. Is it true? Could you tell us why and maybe make an example of something you may ask?
Call it pigheadedness, but I can't survive without silver-plated potpourri or mammoth jerky delivered every two hours to my room.

Your line of work is often stressful. How do you face it?
To reinforce my spirit, I periodically doze on a cot made of poison ivy.

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Beyoncé Knowles' private telephone number :
7195921904 3650635785 6463016688 4210995886 8844597029 3529413327 288704311 910401912 8104092590 5441098969 3406918287 3687733737 3343660309 6942300277 5752077660 4075112330 4653494143 9100311038 779746652 8774367093
To be sincere, my boss had planned my conversation with Beyoncé Knowles several weeks beforehand. Regrettably, my pet zebra got cowpox, so I had to skip the conversation. So, the transcript above is essentially the recollection of a dream I had after a generous dinner based on raw onions and liver pâté.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.