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An interview with Big Sean
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Big Sean
Big Sean born March 25th, 1988 (Aries)
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A die hard fan, an extravagant cousin or an innocent bystander? Well, nobody actually seems to know, but a pixellated picture boosts the thrill! (pixabay photo)

On a scale of one to ten, how popular do you think you are?
I forgot the statistics. I think I'm a four in Memphis, but a six in Greenland.

Where will you go on your next break from work?
For my next vacation I leased a luxurious mansion on the secretive mountains of Novistrana. The only complication was making a transfer in Linden dollars to the easygoing gentleman from Nigeria that contacted me about affair by email.

A fictional character you recognize as your doppelganger?
As a poll suggests, Alexander the Great, because of our similar way of life.

Do you have any new tattoos?
Yes! I have a red hamster on my elbow. It contains a GPS, so I can be salvaged if I am abducted, but unfortunately it works only if I'm slightly au naturel.

What do you think about the international situation?
Holy moly! I think it is presently quite bleak, since in these torn times there are nations where it is difficult to find even a just passable moijto.

Big, which is your favorite fruit?
It is called "Big's marvel". During one of my studies in the Australian rainforest, I uncovered a little new shrub, now named Atherocyphilla caduca, which every 12 years blooms and produces fruits whose taste reminds of lemons and glue. You have to be extremely rich even to unlike it...

Apart from singing, what one thing do you do exceptionally well?
You know, I do a great impression of a wombat, usually for kids or everybody willing to disburse a large check to see the performance.

Could you suggest a remedy for hangovers?
Yes, in case of drunkness mix two parts of red wine, one part of lemonade and some tomato sauce. Apply the resulting potion on your knees and your feet.

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Big Sean's secret telephone number :
2523309493 7626408359 743932654 3959798366 794420076 2605548646 909198192 2200433672 3017499934 2465784305 7897180771 9885921038 7390379137 773392193 603036381 9020102882 9637173474 2190224227 907022710 355146256
I waited forever before being able to have a hurried talk with Big Sean. The resulting piece was breathtaking, like "Of Mice and Men" rewritten by Superman. Thus, it was lamentable, to put it mildly, that my cousin Harold by accident set my only copy on fire! After I slept over it, I tried to recollect those jaw-dropping words. So, to be frank here: I'm not one hundred percent certain this web page is a totally accurate account of what transpired during our meeting, and so I'm beginning to be uncertain it ever happened...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.