If I may ask, do you have any particular phobia?
Yes, I do! I have developed an unreasonable phobia for zombies, because of an uncanny accident occurred to my cousin. I'm also scared by séances, but that is quite normal.
When you were a little boy, did you see yourself as a professional actor?
Actually, no. My mother and I decided that I would have become an accountant. But, you know, things don't always go as planned.
Should you give up acting, which kind of career would you like to pick up?
Almost surely that of professional olive pitter, since I already have some experience in that field.
Which brand of toilet paper do you use?
I can't stand commercial brands. My personal toilet paper is obtained from Chyspea tarda, an elusive green rose that only grows in Nepal.
Do you do your own shopping?
I would love to, but I'm too hard-pressed doing influential things for all the people and I can't waste time on such bagatelles. I employ a team of shopping gurus to compile my grocery list and texting it to a group of professional buyers scattered around the world. For the clothes, always a critical issue, I ever have a gang of surrogates, each sharing with me the measure of one body part.
In a paper printed on Annals of Humanistic Theology, prof. Larry Richardson observed that your movies are "a perfect summation of modernistic conceptual immaterialism". Any comment?
Yes, in his recent article published on Bulgarian Sociological Annals, dr. James I. Fisher utterly discredited that dubious thesis.
What motivates you to act?
There is a voice in my head that motivates me. His name is Steven. Steven says you are an idiot.
Have you ever participated in a séance?
Yep! It was a very unsettling experience. Suddenly, the ghost of Charles I of England manifested and conjectured that almost surely I'm the reincarnation of a neighbor of Ulysses S. Grant.
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