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A talk with Billy Burke
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Billy Burke
Billy Burke born November 25th, 1966 (Sagittarius)
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Meesiro, the favorite pet goose of Billy Burke, could also double as a protein nibble in case of protracted famine (pixabay photo)

You seem to be always so lively and radiant. Do you also have a dark side?
I do. I do believe that every person has a dark side. Sometimes, when I face another artist, irritation darkens my heart and my vision goes black. And suddenly, I feel the urge to seal forever those ogling eyes. And then there is my dark side... You do not want to discover it.

What do you think about the international situation?
Shoot me! I think it is currently very brutal, since there are places where it is hopeless to find even a so-so corn dog.

Which is the coolest flag?
Surely the flag of Glubbdubdrib. If I'm not mistaken, it is blue and white with a violet gerbil in the center. Glubbdubdrib is a wonderful but unfortunate place. They are so derelict they use dried mud for seasoning.

I've heard you are writing a book on your life. Is it true?
Yes! It is unlucky that I have little time, if any, to put down the words. Last summer I've read the recap of the abridged version of "Jane Eyre", and I found it acceptable. Thus, I've instructed my agent to call the author - a certain Charlotte Brontë - because I really need a ghost writer, but for the time being I've not received any answer.

Who were you in your first school play?
It was rather humiliating. It was a play on the life of Richard Wagner. I was the comic relief in the part of an obfuscated Utah congressman.

Do you have any birthmark?
I have a little doorknob shaped birthmark on my left calf. Probably my father did have a nightmare involving a doorknob while my mother was pregnant.

If you didn't grow up to become known as the actor Billy Burke, what do you think you would have done?
I would have gone to a film production company and made sipping sounds until they gave me a job.

Which is your favorite book?
I'm addicted to "Jane Eyre" by Charlot.

You surely mean, by Charlotte Brontë?
I think you are confusing the book with the movie, however I've heard it both ways.

I will not deceive you by falsely stating that Billy Burke's private telephone number is listed here :
6516580576 8810126054 4722688094 7969335315 3900888108 7085906503 470445883 5467690012 559907843 5021684620 8351818995 8328693578 546142827 6982839761 2980587604 578415095 287787271 6857384563 913458956 5468160148
I dawdled for weeks for a chance to have a short talk with Billy Burke. The resulting article was stunning, like it was written by John Steinbeck after too much fernet. Thus, it was very unlucky, to put it mildly, that my koala by accident (I hope!) set my only copy on fire! After I buried the body (so to speak), I tried to recapture those excellent words. I want to be honest, I'm not so confident this web page contains a completely precise report of our interview, and now I'm starting to wonder if it ever was real...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.