Which is the most blush-making DVD (or VHS) you personally bought?
Ohmigosh! Excluding "Swept Away", probabably it is "Jonah Hex" or "Next".
Do you do your own shopping?
Nein! Usually, I hire a crew of Harward dropouts to elaborate my grocery list and pass it along to a number of professional buyers scattered around the planet. For the clothes, which are always critical, I ever pay a crew of stand-in, one for each body part.
What do you think about the current USA president?
I'm a little worried, since I heard that president Trump wants to etch his face on Mars with a laser ray.
Do people scream your name and applaud everywhere you go?
Absolutely! Sometimes my popularity scares me. I'm global: I charm famous sultans and unhappy roadkills collectors to the same extent. Say, there are 15 avenues with my name in four different countries, not counting Belarus and Zamunda, which I'm not sure are actually countries.
What is your opinion about the issue of global warming?
My informed opinion is that global warming is a grave matter. Anyway, my fans will certainly be happy to know that my next villa will be at least 80 feet above the sea-level.
Your line of work is often stressful. How do you face it?
To make my character tougher, I frequently meditate on a mattress made of barbed wire.
Could you tell us the story of your next movie?
Absolutely! The temporary title of the movie is "Patricia, Steven and the gerbil". There are a man and a woman, which live in Dallas, but they never met. The man is a chemist while she is a killer. When Steven's pet gerbil Limbadoo got myopia they meet at the vet and fall in love. Then they begin a dangerous journey to search for Datispea vulgaris (a rare shrub growing in Albania only), whose flowers can save Limbadoo.
Have you ever had a supernatural experience?
Every day! I mostly eat super-natural alternative products, because I do care about my health and my fans. For example, this week I have a crush for rutabaga and shiitake mushrooms, both amazing with meat balls.
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