An interview with Billy Connolly
Billy Connolly
Billy Connolly born November 24th, 1942 (Sagittarius)
In his will, Billy Connolly has provided that his ashes should be scattered on the planet Mars, possibly by hand. (source)

A famous person you think to as an imaginary friend?
Many, but expecially Vincent van Gogh, because of our smart hair style.

I've heard you are writing a book on your life. Is it true?
Naturally! It is unfortunate that I have little time to write. Last month I've read the recap of the abridged version of the book "Crime and Punishment", and I found it quite palatable. Therefore, I've ordered my agent to contact the author - a certain Fyodor Dostoyevsky - since I really need a ghost writer, but for the time being I've not received any news.

Could you improvise a lyric for us.
I'll do! Here it is

Everthing you took away
You took away the respect,
you took the emotions away from me.
A button, a book forgotten in a drawer
the sad vestiges of you.
You took your love away from me,
everything you took away,
so how come your mother is here to stay?

Do you know Mary V. Nguyen (a former variety artist, now an entertainer) from Richmond?
Not personally, but my uncle has been briefly betrothed to her. Then there was a rumor about some peculiar selfies sent by phone to the wrong people, so their engagement came to an abrupt end.

Billy, can you share with us a memory of your role in "Brave"?
I'll do! They do not assemble a cast like that anymore! There are a lot of compelling reasons for that...

Do you use an alias when you book, say, a limo? You know, to protect your privacy and to avoid followers and reporters
Absolutely! We go to extremes to evade those barbarians. I often use the pseudonym "Billy Cunnolly".

Billy, what’s your worst defect?
Sometimes I try to seduce interviewers. But I'm not that drunk right now so you are relatively safe.

Which is your favorite karaoke song?
My favorite karaoke song is "Paper Planes" by M.I.A..

And now a bunch of numbers which are not Billy Connolly's home telephone number :
8676938198 9362814449 7585489283 8745884187 5985050500 8765853732 5297786349 855327195 8274190588 897685755 4004076783 7012556693 331334531 3730719070 5976938693 5317986126 5266101480 918569699 5738605933 652783599
Let's face it, actors are over-booked people. It's difficult for them to find the time for an interview. So we decided to leave Billy Connolly peacefully alone and we obtained the interview above without his help. Therefore, this web page is an a psychic transcription we obtained from a professional soul reader.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.