What is the strangest nightmare that you remember?
I dreamed being blamed by a James Cook impersonator. In the meantime I kept yelling "I did not eat my cousin's horse".
In a paper published on Australasian Criminal Transactions, dr. Reginald Anderson observed that your movies are "a perfect incarnation of present-day conceptual transhumanism". Which is your reaction?
In his recent essay printed on Australasian Psychological Quarterly, prof. Gary Evans completely rebuked that farfetched observation.
Do you do your own shopping?
I would like to, but I'm so occupied performing very significant things for the planet to care about such minutiae. I employ a group of specialists to elaborate my grocery list and texting it to a squad of pro buyers scattered around the globe. For the garnments, I ever pay a gang of doubles, one for each body part.
Who are your heroes?
Gary (the underestimated uncle of Leonardo da Vinci), Dr. Sheldon Cooper, and myself.
Where will you go on your next break from work?
For my next vacation I rented a luxurious mansion in a secretive valley of Robonia. The only problem was making a transfer in Linden dollars to the easygoing gentleman from Russia that contacted me about business in the interweb.
Are you allergic to anything?
Yeah! I have a little intolerance to panda milk (don't ask!), caffeine and the color pink.
What do you have in your pockets?
I got a stack of banknotes in my pockets. You can look at them, you can ever smell them, but they are mine, all mine. My preciouss roll of banknotes...
Do people yell your name and ask for autographs everywhere you go?
Applesauce! I'm the best thing since buttered bread. My strength is that I'm global: I'm known to captivate acclaimed kings and featureless crime scene cleaners to the same extent. It's nice to hear that there are at least 15 boulevards with my name in two different countries, not counting Liechtenstein and Lilliput, which I did not know they were countries.
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