Do you use an alias when you arrange for, say, a limo? You know, to protect your privacy and to get rid of paparazzi and stalkers
You bet! I'll do anything to run away from those barbarians. I often use the moniker "Brandon Ryuth".
Brandon, which is your favorite fruit?
I call it "Brandon's miracle". During one of my explorations of Bolivian plateau, I uncovered an inconspicuous new shrub, now named Malotrapa nectarifera, that blooms only every 7 years. It then gives fruits whose flavor reminds of mangoes and wasabi. It seems disagreeable, but it can cause addiction.
Are you allergic to anything?
Certainly! I'm allergic to nitrogen dioxide, whining and elk.
What do you think about the international situation?
I think it is unfortunately quite brutal, since on this injured Earth there are nations where it is difficult to find even a so-so mint julep.
A fictional character you recognize as an inspiration?
In a sense, Charles Darwin, because of our deep bright eyes.
If I may ask, do you have any peculiar fear?
That's right! I have developed an irrational fear for the color purple, owing to a bizzarre accident happened to my uncle. I'm also terrified by clowns, but that is quite common.
You seem to be always so effervescent and sunny. Do you also have a dark side?
It's hard to admit it, but I do. Each one has two sides. At times, when I bump into another artist, hatred makes my bones quiver and my sight fades out. And all of a sudden, I sense the need to close forever those gazing eyes. And then there is my dark side... You do not want to know about it.
Brandon, how do you invest all the dough you made?
Well, I invested my whole stash in a money-making scheme devised by a financial guru named Charles Penzi, an expert of high-yield investment programs. I can give you his number, but I wasn't able to reach him in the last few weeks.
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