A conversation with Brenton Thwaites
Brenton Thwaites
Brenton Thwaites born August 10th, 1989 (Leo)
Brenton Thwaites is always looking for new ways to stay in touch with his fans. (pixabay photo)

Could you improvise a lyric for us.
Of course! Here it is

The baboon of agony
The white baboon of agony
rushes on the stormy meadows of emptiness
when I look in the eye this life mourning.
If only it had been the pig of agony
we could have bacon at least.

What would Brenton Thwaites do to solve the issue of criminality and violence that is jeopardizing present-day society?
Well, I think that giving a security guard to every citizen would make many problems go away, but most lawmakers are rapacious old lads.

Have you ever had a supernatural experience?
Usually I prefer super-natural alternative products, because I do pay attention to my health and my supporters. For example, this week I have a passion for kale chips and elk antler velvet, both amazing with liver sausages.

Which is your earliest memory?
People say that only the 7th son of a 7th son has the power of total recall, but I have a clear memory of the moment I saw the light. It was a day in August. An almost perfect summer day, the wildflowers glowing under the sun in the meadows. And amidst all the beauty, I was there, soaked from head to toe with blood, in a room full of people screaming like wolves. The first, but not the best day of my life...

You make me feel lucky.
Who gives a rat? My life is like a dip in a lake of tears.

What do you have in your pockets?
Egads! Because this talk is a fabrication of your mischievous mind, I'm in my enticing undercloths, so no pockets at all.

What’s the best sound in the world?
Honestly? It is the soothing jingle of two pieces of gold kissing each other. However, my agent asked to write instead something more crowd-pleasing, like "the first 'dad' of your tot" or "the relaxing purr of a pleased kitten".

You appear to be always so effervescent and radiant. Do you also have a dark side?
It's difficult to confess it, but I do. I truly believe that everybody has two sides. Sometimes, when I face a colleague, my sight blurs and my teeth rattle with fury. And then, without warning, I experience the urge to erase his jeering smirk. That is my bright side... I let you discover, if you want, how dark my dark side is.

There is no possibility any of these is Brenton Thwaites' secret telephone number :
427675821 835949010 3545759849 990922120 3883489448 8316341861 4639673589 224130308 3467066705 2550454894 5809071063 5807963924 250564560 5723857698 6317338838 318853577 2876393665 2144516411 726017784 5311125257
Clearly, celebrities are very over-booked people. It's not easy for them to find the time for an interview. So we decided to leave Brenton Thwaites totally alone and to obtain the interview above without disturbing him. Therefore, this web page is an an algorithmic transcription we obtained thanks to a computer simulation of Brenton.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.