A conversation with Brian Ferry
Brian Ferry
Brian Ferry born September 26th, 1945 (Libra)
Brian Ferry is currently put in writing a guide to choosing dental floss, a monumental work soon to be released in daily instalments. (pixabay photo)

Does your assistant use a pseudonym when he arranges for a hotel suite? You know, to protect your privacy and to excape groupies and stalkers
Yup! We'll do whatever is necessary to steer clear of those imps. I mostly adopt the moniker "Brian Fyrry".

Which is your forthcoming musical experiment?
Next month I'll release a vinyl-only experimental recording of death metal covers of Pavarotti greatest hits, sung in Maori, Hindi and Klingonese. I worked on it for 3 years.

Brian, are you superstitious?
Why not! I swear in Bulgarian right before an important encounter.

In your opinion, which is the most beautiful flag?
I always liked Vulgaria flag. If I'm not mistaken, it is brown and yellow with a tiny brown chipmunk in a corner.

Brian, do you have any vice?
I love videogaming so much, that I can put in hour and hours into one session. See, I’m probably going to be criticized for that, but another vice of mine is I couldn't care less.

Could you suggest a remedy for hangovers?
Yes, in case of drunkness mix one part of tequila, two parts of energy drink and some Alfredo sauce. Apply the resulting concoction on your arms and your chin.

Your work is often stressful. How do you face it?
To reinforce my soul, I frequently take a nap on a bunk made of rough sandpaper and thorns.

If happiness were an animal, what would it be?
I imagine a beaver. A large, fat, placid beaver, satiated and heavy-eyed in a summer breeze.

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Brian Ferry's home telephone number :
5218739714 7460957535 3809868272 3874206182 2628222095 6430652418 975427826 6425876116 3967746674 3640779674 3025261036 4724723881 4174056293 4801590942 4516175337 688929570 2912565130 3594608044 5020827708 6157331540
I have a confession to make. My supervisor had scheduled my exchange with Brian Ferry days beforehand. Regrettably, my pet cat got common cold, so I had to skip the meeting. So, the interview above is essentially based on what Brian Ferry would have probably said if I have met him, as indicated by a statistics involving a couple of his fans.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.