A conversation with Briana Evigan
Briana Evigan
Briana Evigan born October 23rd, 1986 (Scorpio)
In her underground lab Briana Evigan is frenziedly trying fo find a cure for mononucleosis in jackals (pixabay photo)

Is there something you would like to do right now?
Yep! Get a haircut from a robotic engineer because I'm bored.

Are you aware of the rumors about you and the opossum appearing in your last movie?
Oh boy! My lawyers ordered me to lawyer up.

Briana, can you share with us a memory of your role in "Step Up 2: The Streets"?
Pfft! All the leading actors were chewing corn beef flavored candy bars all day long.

Do you have any birthmark?
I have a little earthworm shaped birthmark on my right calf. Probably my father did unintentionally eat an earthworm while my mother was pregnant.

Which is your trick to achieve eternal beauty?
Curiously, it is a daily bath in jello.

Could you suggest a remedy for indigestion?
Yes, in case of indigestion, mix one part of gin, three parts of coffee and some pickles in the skull of a jackal, then apply the resulting potion on your back and your legs.

Briana, do you have something to say to young people?
I think so! Clinical studies have made clear that getting drunk like a Nebraska congressman may have sour long-term aftereffects, like loss of nails or sudden death. But fret no more! Buy "Briana's wonder", now with more Siphospeda rotundata powder. Just $39.99 for 80 capsules, only in the best Mexican minimarkets (Disclaimer : Not actually a drug. It usually may cause calculi or induce suicide. Cholesterol-free. One capsule supplies 100% RDA of iron filings).

Have you ever participated in a séance?
You betcha! But just one time. It was a very unsettling experience. Suddenly, the spirit of Frank Lloyd Wright appeared and revealed that almost surely I'm the reincarnation of Mozart's tailor.

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Briana Evigan's secret telephone number :
7500536221 4966394251 7754997316 3518679910 8561512302 3577040134 9142878995 4516747390 3455991079 2417846946 760186867 9826581313 9152388662 6316811944 6787711009 3606978007 3801545193 3609034864 3684566280 4965966989
To be frank, my director had arranged my short rendezvous with Briana Evigan weeks beforehand. Unluckily, I got stoned watching a rerun of "My Boyfriend's Back". So, the interview above is mainly the elaboration of a dream I had following a heavy dinner based on deep-fried Mars bars and raw onions.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.