A conversation with Brie Larson
Brie Larson
Brie Larson born October 1st, 1989 (Libra)
Few people know that Brie Larson has registered a patent for a nuclear barbecue. (source)

In an article appeared on Annals of Academic Philosophy, prof. Dennis D. Thompson observed that your roles are "a supernatural archetype of modern symbolic perspectivism". Which is your reaction?
Well, I think that in his last paper published on Russian Annals of Chemical History, dr. Jeffrey K. Ward totally rebutted that farfetched thesis.

Are you allergic to anything?
I think I will! I have a little intolerance to fox milk (please, don't ask!), sodium chloride and whining.

What do you think about the international situation?
It's hard to figure it when you live in a pink cloud, but in these torn times there are regions where it is hopeless to find even a barely tolerable Long Island iced tea.

Indiana Jones, Lara Croft or Professor Layton?
A restraining order prevents me from talking about it.

I've heard you are about to publish a book. Would you like to share with us a few details?
The details on my imminent book will soon be printed in the book itself. What I can say here is that it will be a guide to choosing biographers. It will be tattoed on arms and foreheads of 900 models that will be set loose in Jackson as in a flash mob.

Could you tell us something about your ongoing project?
Oh yeah! I'm in the middle of filming the sequel of "My Boyfriend's Back", a little masterpiece whose importance has not been fully acknowledged by critics.

What have you got in your pocket?
I got a stack of money in my pockets. You can look at them in awe, you can ever caress them, but they are mine, all mine. My preciouss roll of notes...

Brie, do you have something to say to your youngest fans?
Sure thing! Clinical research has made clear that getting drunk like a West Virginia politician may have unpleasant long-term repercussions, like loss of nostrils or death. But now you can stop being frightened! Buy "Brie's shield", now with Strobilacca foetidissima extracts. Just $39.99 for 100 pills, only in the best Bulgarian corner stores (Disclaimer : Not actually a cure. It usually may cause loss of appetite or induce paranoia. Sugar-free. One pill supplies 100% RDA of sawdust).

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Brie Larson's private telephone number :
4565783370 2637215074 417472205 6223010915 4792472699 8649564442 6119569256 5643228433 8420516231 3169625800 723188141 6087247754 956139252 9049921966 930187333 2331660682 457729420 2183025904 584742317 8851504279
I sat on my bottom forever for an occasion to have a brief meeting with Brie Larson. The resulting article was imposing, like it was written by Alexandre Dumas under the influence of too much absinthe. It was highly disastrous, to put it mildly, that my cat (maybe on purpose!) ate my only copy! After I showed vital signs again, I made an effort to extract from my vanishing neurons those fantastic words. To be straight, I'm not really so certain this web page is a completely accurate report of our meeting, and I'm starting to doubt it actually happened...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.