An interview with Britney Spears
Britney Spears
Britney Spears born December 2nd, 1981 (Sagittarius)
In her will, Britney Spears has specified that her body should be buried under a pyramid (pixabay photo)

You seem to be always so lively and cheerful. Do you also have a dark side?
It's difficult to confess it, but I do. I think that every person has two sides. Sometimes, when I look at a so-called artist, my vision goes black and aversion makes my legs give out. And then, without warning, I fight an impulse to shutter those gazing eyes for good. That is my cheerful side... I let you discover, if you want, how my dark side is.

Britney, which is your trick to obtain perpetual beauty?
As you may have imagined, it is a scrubbing with fresh cement twice a week.

Which is your forthcoming musical experiment?
Next month I'll release a vinyl-only esoteric recording of trip hop covers of Elvis Presley greatest hits, sung in Bosnian, Dutch and Danish. I have no doubts it will be the peak of my artistic life.

Your zodiac sign is Sagittarius. May I read you your horoscope?
Please proceed, my supporters say I'm a sucker for zodiacal chicanery.

Unwillingly, you are in an irksome condition that retards you from doing the things that are in line with your inclinations. You can mitigate this sad state by cloistering yourself for 5 months in a monastery.
Whammo! You are spot on!

I've heard you are about to publish a book. Would you like to share with us a few details?
The actual details on my imminent book will soon be printed in another book. What I can say now is that it will be my unofficial autobiography. It will be tattoed on foreheads and legs of 1,000 models that will be dispersed in Las Cruces.

What's the strangest dream that you remember?
Not actually a dream: I was alone in a desolate gloomy space. A nasty taste in my mouth. Then I realized I got drunk at a rerun of "Just Go With It" in a faded movie house near Tucson.

Could you improvise a poem for us.
Yep! Here it is

Everthing you took away
You took away the emotions,
you took your love away from me.
A book, a pen forgotten in a drawer
the gloomy souvenirs of you.
You took away my life,
all that matters you took away,
so how come your uncle is here to stay?

I will not deceive you by falsely stating that Britney Spears' secret telephone number is listed here :
607895972 271413249 3179139259 4617379118 8152322587 5986548953 617410673 4566938017 2625635279 9328286937 5838609634 4535182725 3980983065 2187259346 3453864500 439007603 9966273167 2351336372 696810777 8950376582
To be sincere, my supervisor had planned my interview with Britney Spears months beforehand. Regrettably, my pet rabbit got malaria, so I had to skip the interview. So, the transcript above is mainly the recollection of a dream that followed after a heavy dinner of beans and raw onions.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.