A conversation with Brooke Shields
Brooke Shields
Brooke Shields born May 31st, 1965 (Gemini)
Brooke Shields is presently composing a guide to choosing biographers, a monumental work soon to be released in montly instalments. (pixabay photo)

I heard that you will soon be busy with a charity football match. Care to tell us why'd you decide to undertake such a humiliating effort?
I had to for a little clause in my last contract, which obliged me to increase the number of charity events I attend.

And since when did you feel a need to address the delicate issue of appendicitis?
In confidence, I couldn't care less about it.

Do you know any good hangover cures?
Yes, in case of drunkness mix two parts of vodka, one part of instant coffee and some mustard. Gargle with the resulting elixir every 10 minutes for at least 5 hours.

What’s your biggest defect?
A few people say that I have a predisposition to coprolalia, but they are just a pack of confounded idiots.

Is there a deep moral behind your "The Blue Lagoon"?
Definitely! That everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

Have you ever had a supernatural experience?
Well, years ago I was crossing France in a battered minivan with a friend and we did "it" among the shrubs, under the stars, in the middle of nature.

What’s in your pocket right now?
Golly! A tricky question. Since this interview is a fantasy of your indecent mind, I'm probably in my sensuous nightwear, so no pockets at all.

Which is the most shameful DVD (or blu-ray) in your possession?
Balderdash! Excluding "Twilight", which was a gift, I fear it is "Speed 2" or "Dreamcatcher".

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Brooke Shields' secret telephone number :
2601216333 3834902942 6078490003 4504967638 388307658 7912605104 555587541 6636191774 6051600386 5799559566 9002183516 637618908 575659257 8309723606 2136909638 446568412 7414688041 7045720660 610464095 6620540852
Let's face it, celebrities are frantic people. It's difficult for them to schedule an interview. So we decided to leave Brooke Shields alone and we obtained the interview above without her help. Therefore, this web page is an a psychic transcription we obtained from a professional mind reader from Atlanta.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.