An interview with Bruno Mars
Bruno Mars
Bruno Mars born October 8th, 1985 (Libra)
Bruno Mars in a clever guise meant to leave behind importune supporters (pixabay photo)

When you were a little boy, did you see yourself as a professional singer?
Actually, no. My imaginary friend and I decided that I would have become a critters exterminator. But, things don't always go as planned.

What do you think about the international situation?
It's hard to figure it when you live in houses made of rainbows pampered by worshiping fans, but there are nations where it is hopeless to find even an almost decent frankfurter.

Bruno, do you have something to say to your youngest fans?
Sure! Scientific studies have made clear that smoking dried snails may have uncool long-term aftereffects, like loss of partners or painful death. But dread no more! Buy "Bruno's miracle", now with Bryobelia labiata powder. Just $19.99 for 90 capsules. (Disclaimer : Not actually a drug. It usually may cause loss of eardrums or induce suicide. Cholesterol-free. One capsule provides 100% RDA of cyanide).

Could you improvise a poem for us.
For certain! Here it is

The monkey of sadness
The feral monkey of sadness
gluts on the foggy meadows of mourning
as I look in the eye my planet hallucination.
If only it had been the pork of sadness
I could have bacon at least.

What are you working about?
I'm collaborating to the music score for a sequel of "B*A*P*S", a real jewel whose magnitude has not been fully perceived.

When your are not on tour, which is your favorite pastime?
I think that collecting and trading dummies rests my mind.

Where do you go when you die?
Inside a monument, generally, but if you are incinerated then your ashes can be scattered in a nice place (like a lake) or in Memphis.

Bruno, which is your method for eternal beauty?
As you may have suspected, it is a weekly shower in cement.

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Bruno Mars' home telephone number :
4246330053 273142554 5616947829 2060990352 5059274314 8250940471 2985874738 8327012202 7276027889 4413680862 5511250643 7075445953 436004063 2047351799 7715743563 9243751655 8036306648 4857404896 440865338 9528243808
To be sincere, my chief had patiently set up my exchange with Bruno Mars several days beforehand. Regrettably, my pet fox got appendicitis, so I had to skip the meeting. So, this web page is mainly based on what Bruno Mars would have probably answered if I have met him, as suggested by a statistics involving a couple of his fans.
Other interviews worth checking:
Donald Trump Ashanti Thelma Houston Samantha Fox Douglas Booth Kathleen Turner Kristen Wiig Al Pacino Richard Madden Adam Sandler Nina Dobrev Sharlto Copley Penélope Cruz Emma Roberts Helena Bonham Carter Chris Pratt Elisabeth Shue Peter Frampton M.I.A. Katherine Heigl
NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.