Are you aware of the rumors about you and the gerbil appearing in your last movie?
My conduct was strictly professional.
When your are not on the set, which is your preferred pastime?
I think that collecting old TV antennas rests my mind.
Who were you in your first school play?
Not my best memory. It was a play on the life of Mark Twain. I was at the ticket boot.
What do you eat between meals?
Sugar grains with cocktail sauce, a cheddar cheese slice, four strawberries, and a tumbler of tequila.
How famous do you think you are, on a scale of one to ten?
I forgot the statistics. I think I'm a two in Denver, but a ten in Amazonas.
Could you tell us the plot of your next movie?
Yes sir! It is the story of Justin, a gunsmith from Boston. He is kidnapped by a secretive company and he is demanded to create absurd "verY made Up confabulaTions" for some web site, from an obscure lab. (If I can't be recovered, tell Barbara I always loved her...)
Can you tell me the square root of 1863896465?
According to my speechwriter the answer is something around 92.
I've heard you are writing an autobiography. Is it true?
Indeed! It is regrettable that I have so little time to put down the words, as we authors use to say. Last month I've read the inside flap of "Little Women", and I found it palatable. So, I've asked my agent to pay a visit to the author - a certain Louisa May Alcott - because I really need a ghost writer, but for the moment I've not heard any news.
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