A talk with Camille Guaty
Camille Guaty
Camille Guaty born June 28th, 1978 (Cancer)
A die hard fan, a friend or an absolute stranger? Well, we are in the dark, but we sanitized the face nonetheless! (pixabay photo)

Camille, do you have something to say to your youngest fans?
Yes! Clinical research has demonstrated that getting drunk like a West Virginia congressman may have obnoxious effects, like loss of eardrums or sudden death. But now you can stop being frightened! Buy "Camille's shield", now with more Zygosma bracteata syrup. Just $39.99 for 70 pills. (Disclaimer : Not actually a drug. It often may cause loss of sleep or induce paranoia. Cholesterol-free. It may contain traces of tears and iron filings).

What’s the best sound in the world?
I think it is the exciting whisper of a roll of new banknotes touching each other. However, my agent urges you to write instead something more likeable, like "the infectious giggle of a delighted kid " or "the first word of your tot".

When you were a little girl, did you see acting as your profession?
Actually, no. My mother and I decided that I would have become a crime scene cleaner. But, you know, things don't always work out the way you dreamed.

Where do you go when you die?
When you are gonna look at the other side of the grass, so to speak, you usually also mature the propensity to sit tight.

A famous person you recognize as similar to you in spirit?
In a sense, Nikola Tesla, because of our innate spirit of enquiry.

How do you invest the considerable fortune you made?
I asked myself: "What's popular with people?" I discovered that the answer is candies! So I bought 2000000 boxes of candies which I'm keeping in my pool,.

When your are not on the set, which is your preferred hobby?
I think that collecting and trading old TV antennas is quite relaxing.

Camille, is there a deep moral hidden in your "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past"?
Okey-doke! That every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings - or something like that.

Here is a list of numbers I have already excluded from being Camille Guaty's home telephone number :
5665859818 997034170 4537665918 6637655498 7336626786 8235242181 894432484 322670387 814347927 237197161 4149631151 4287606537 8976157314 770128856 5277630121 4636151247 6160377599 4047374749 9214361427 7994710375
To be frank, my chief had patiently scheduled my rendezvous with Camille Guaty many weeks beforehand. Unluckily, I fall asleep watching a rerun of "Lady In The Water". So, the transcript above is essentially the impression of a nightmare that ensued after a copious dinner based on chorizo and beans.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.