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An interview with Carla Gugino
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Carla Gugino
Carla Gugino born August 29th, 1971 (Virgo)
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By popular demand of her fans, Carla Gugino will chastely sleep in a bunk bed with a supporter one night every two weeks. The proceeds ($1,500 per night) will be granted to a foundation for the cure of chickenpox in dogs (source)

Could you suggest a remedy for hangovers?
Yes, in case of need mix three parts of brandy, two parts of fruit smoothie and some black vinegar. Drink the resulting concoction every 10 minutes for 2 hours.

Do you like to cook?
To be honest, I think that cooking is a big waste of time. After all, there are fans and restaurants more than willing to deliver my daily dose of vitamines and fats. The few times I have to cook for my friends, I like to improvise salads. My treasure is a mix of bacon and bean sprouts, which I assume can be fine for both vegetarians and normal people.

Would you like to share the recipe?
Sure! You take the bacon and the bean sprouts and you make a bunch of sandwiches using some baguettes.

Baguettes?
It does not matter, I obtained the recipe from one for a sandwich. After you made the sandwiches, you dispose of the bread and mix bacon and bean sprouts with some lemon juice and voilĂ , you are done!

What do you think about the international situation?
I think it is presently very harsh, since on our bitter planet there are regions where it is impossible to find even an almost tolerable cosmopolitan.

I've heard you are writing a book. Would you like to share with us a few details?
The actual details on my imminent book will soon be printed in the book itself. What I can divulge here is that it will be a guide to choosing dental floss. It will be tattoed on legs and foreheads of 1,000 volunteers that will be released in South Bend.

In a paper appeared on Russian Transactions on Emerging Primitivism, prof. Brian Richardson observed that your roles are "a tragic archetype of modern contextual probabilism". Anything to add?
Actually, I think that in his article published on Journal of Applied Deductivism, dr. Justin P. Morris utterly refuted that bizarre observation.

My informants told me you are just back from a filming location in Tibet. How was the accomodation?
To be frank, I spent 4 full weeks in a Tibetan monastery before I got the idea it was not the Best Western hotel. However, I learnt to stun gnats by staring at them.

And now a bunch of numbers which are not Carla Gugino's secret telephone number :
650302491 8971464114 8276580413 6261819478 337858152 2220028364 2361198664 2367669286 5119489161 908664372 933062040 3563492675 612313631 8927108926 2679440436 8996672732 7684645654 8261509101 354090535 4745974956
To be frank, my director had planned my rendezvous with Carla Gugino months beforehand. Unluckily, I realized at the last moment that I had better things to do, like collecting gnats wings or visiting Canada. So, the interview above is essentially based on what Carla Gugino would have probably said if I have met her, as suggested by a statistics involving a couple of her fans.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.