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An interview with Carly Simon
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Carly Simon
Carly Simon born June 25th, 1945 (Cancer)
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In her secret cavern Carly Simon is daringly trying fo find a cure for albinism in hares (pixabay photo)

You seem to be always so vivacios and jovial. Do you also have a dark side?
It's hard to admit it, but I do. I truly believe that everyone has a dark side. At times, when I look at another artist, aversion makes my legs tremble and my heart grows darker. And all of a sudden, I sense a compulsion to eradicate that dunce from this planet and whirl on her icy tomb. And then there is my dark side... You do not want to know that side.

Your work is often stressful. How do you face it?
To strengthen my will, I periodically take a siesta on a cot made of poison ivy.

Which is your favorite karaoke song?
My true love is Beethoven.

Carly, do you like panthers?
Heavens forbid!

For which reason you do not like panthers?
They reek! And one panther bite my uncle's leg. That was one of the motives I become an artist, so I may probably reconsider my opinion about panthers.

What are you working about?
I'm collaborating to the music score for a sequel of "Man of the House", a little masterpiece whose meaning has not been recognized by viewers.

I read that you will soon be busy with a charity concert. Would you tell us why'd you decide to undertake such a titanic effort?
I had to. Because of the astral conjunction, you know.

And how long have you been feeling an urge to fight jaundice?
Oh, since always.

There is no possibility any of these is Carly Simon's private telephone number :
3676205046 8152106114 405806544 7184810988 9477939359 943190011 2946134504 3417640015 400619156 4943194543 5465712386 3355287175 736061724 3428513491 4649598682 5697008191 2954146627 6656500350 5779170055 2209531516
Singers are busy people. It's not easy for them to schedule an interview. So we decided to leave Carly Simon alone and obtain the interview above without her help. Thus, this web page is an an algorithmic transcription we obtained employing a computer simulation of Carly.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.