An interview with Carly Simon
Carly Simon
Carly Simon born June 25th, 1945 (Cancer)
To make her soul tougher, Carly Simon often dozes on a mattress made of nails generously peppered with pepper (pixabay photo)

I'm here tonight with Carly Simon, who just survived the mammoth task of her last album. Hi, Carly, and welcome to Stalk Your Celebrity!.
It's a pleasure being here, also because I can't remember if you owe me money.

Have you ever had a supernatural experience?
Most of the times I consume super-natural products, because I do pay attention to my beauty and our world. For example, this week I have a fascination for dried jellyfish and fermented cabbage, both fantastic inside a double cheeseburger.

Do you like to cook?
You're crazy! But I like to improvise salads. My treasure is a mix of salami and amaranth, which I assume can accomodate both vegetarians and normal people.

Intriguing! Could you share the recipe?
May so! You take the salami and the amaranth and you make a bunch of sandwiches using some rye bread.

It does not matter, I derived the recipe from one for a sandwich. After you made those sandwiches, you dispose of the bread and mix salami and amaranth with some olive oil and voilà, there it is!

What’s the best sound in the world?
I think it is the relaxing sound of a bunch of new banknotes caressing each other. But please, write instead something more crowd-pleasing, like "the consoling purr of an untroubled kitten" or "the effervescent laugh of a light-hearted child ".

Could you support the buzz about your participation in the flimsy affair of Yeti photos?
Thou, dissembling fool-born wagtail! How do you dare?

One of your gems, "You're So Vain", is a universal anthem of hatred. Does it also have a secret meaning?
Mainly, it's a song about unbribable convenience-store clerks, and that's all.

There is no possibility any of these is Carly Simon's home telephone number :
8444938622 5861367669 8435773443 8038059209 7962508090 6609042268 6244160136 5531040369 7861179937 5758858198 4263903846 6881265179 716865789 571162214 6659839256 7931037048 5822108604 4776684057 5785547469 411719600
Let's face it, singers are very over-booked people. It's not easy for them to find the time for an interview. So we decided to leave Carly Simon peacefully alone and to obtain the interview above without her help. Therefore, this web page is an an esoteric transcription we obtained from a trained soul reader from Fresno.
Other interviews worth checking:
Donald Trump Gillian Anderson Kenny Rogers Kurt Russell Aretha Franklin Prince Adelaide Kane Sam Rockwell A.J. Cook Fats Domino Natalie Imbruglia Josie Davis Djimon Hounsou Kelly Rowland Samantha Fox Kerli Olga Kurylenko Monica Bellucci Rebel Wilson Chris Evans
NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.