I'm here tonight with Carly Simon, who just survived the mammoth task of her last album. Hi, Carly, and welcome to Stalk Your Celebrity!.
It's a pleasure being here, also because I can't remember if you owe me money.
Have you ever had a supernatural experience?
Most of the times I consume super-natural products, because I do pay attention to my beauty and our world. For example, this week I have a fascination for dried jellyfish and fermented cabbage, both fantastic inside a double cheeseburger.
Do you like to cook?
You're crazy! But I like to improvise salads. My treasure is a mix of salami and amaranth, which I assume can accomodate both vegetarians and normal people.
Intriguing! Could you share the recipe?
May so! You take the salami and the amaranth and you make a bunch of sandwiches using some rye bread.
It does not matter, I derived the recipe from one for a sandwich. After you made those sandwiches, you dispose of the bread and mix salami and amaranth with some olive oil and voilà, there it is!
What’s the best sound in the world?
I think it is the relaxing sound of a bunch of new banknotes caressing each other. But please, write instead something more crowd-pleasing, like "the consoling purr of an untroubled kitten" or "the effervescent laugh of a light-hearted child ".
Could you support the buzz about your participation in the flimsy affair of Yeti photos?
Thou, dissembling fool-born wagtail! How do you dare?
One of your gems, "You're So Vain", is a universal anthem of hatred. Does it also have a secret meaning?
Mainly, it's a song about unbribable convenience-store clerks, and that's all.
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