A conversation with Carrie Underwood
Carrie Underwood
Carrie Underwood born March 10th, 1983 (Pisces)
Melita, the cherished pet armadillo of Carrie Underwood, also doubles as a protein treat in case of edibles scantiness following a natural disaster (pixabay photo)

In an article appeared on Australasian Journal of Pragmatic Perspectives, prof. Matthew U. Ross has described your songs as "a supernatural quintessence of modern symbolic emotivism". Which is your reaction?
Well, I think that in his paper published on International Anthropological Transactions, dr. Carl Jackson utterly invalidated that dubious thesis.

Could you improvise a song for us.
Absolutely! Here it is

The bear of sorrow
The bleak bear of sorrow
gluts on the dim mountains of desolation
as I look in the eye my existence lonelyness.
If only it had been the boar of sorrow
I could have bacon at least.

What’s your worst defect?
When I'm concentrated I have a propensity to put little objects behind my ear, like a cigarette or a croissant.

Do people scream your name and applaud everywhere you go?
You bet! Sometimes my popularity frightens me. I really make no distinction: I'm known to brighten famed cosmonauts and modest crime scene cleaners to the same extent. You know? There are 12 plazas with my name in four different countries, not counting Panem and Latvia.

Can we play the "word association" game? I say a concept and you answer with the first word that comes to mind. I begin with :
Q: moon.

Carrie : cheese

Q: good
Carrie : cake

Q: penitence
Carrie : money

I feel you are not in the mood.

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Carrie Underwood's secret telephone number :
6768335598 345532571 5863430729 753143441 4144548917 5468187432 631697954 3394670321 3497408809 895547715 749741978 944413921 5852832608 7464847486 8609035743 3760913532 7562843546 9841128346 6684390259 2743912181
Clearly, vips are busy people. It's difficult for them to fix a meeting for an interview. So we decided to leave Carrie Underwood peacefully alone and obtain the interview above without her help. Thus, this web page is an an algorithmic transcription we obtained from a computer we supplied with all the available info about Carrie.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.