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A talk with Cary Elwes
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Cary Elwes
Cary Elwes born October 26th, 1962 (Scorpio)
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To make his spirit stronger, Cary Elwes often meditates on a bed made of rough sandpaper and poison ivy (pixabay photo)

What do you have in your pockets?
Crud! Since this interview is a fabrication of your naughty mind, I'm probably in my suggesting nightwear, so no pockets at all.

Which is the worst DVD in your possession?
Crud! Apart from "Disaster Movie", which was a gift, probabably it is "Dungeon and Dragons" or "Freddy Got Fingered".

Are you superstitious?
Yep! I have to drink something orange before an important encounter. Clearly not this one.

You seem to be always so jovial and radiant. Do you also have a dark side?
I do. I think that everyone has two sides. At times, when I face another artist, I convulse with hate and my vision goes black. And suddenly, I experience an impulse to erase that moron from the earth and pirouette on his cold casket. And then there is my dark side... You do not want to hear about that side.

Your zodiac sign is Scorpio. May I read you your horoscope?
OK, my fans say I'm a sucker for zodiacal folly.

Unwillingly, you find yourself in an irritating condition that retards you from doing the things that are in line with your needs. You can take your destiny into your hands by cloistering yourself for 3 months in an inaccessible cave in the most untamed spot of Connecticut.
Shit fire and save matches! That's impressive!

If I may ask, how do you invest the considerable fortune you made?
If you are interested, I can contact some guys from Cartagena who can make you a fat offer. You can give them a photo of your kids as a good-will sign.

In your opinion, which is the most beautiful flag?
I think it is that of Markovia. It is yellow and brown with a little brown elk somewhere. Markovia is an amazing but unfortunate nation. They are so needy they use dried mud as a spice.

There is no possibility any of these is Cary Elwes' private telephone number :
8910276761 470816223 5426156261 930389655 5241427336 279111491 2075234054 6093673885 4404077213 2152235047 215757778 2221242812 775671186 423163512 4249996168 2478367006 3973303796 883097871 6462821803 4914227435
My supervisor had patiently arranged my hurried conversation with Cary Elwes several weeks beforehand. Unfortunately, I realized at the last moment that I had more interesting things to do, like growing mosses or breeding gnats. So, the interview above is essentially based on what Cary Elwes would have probably answered if I have met him, as indicated by a telephonic poll involving a couple of his fans.
Other interviews worth checking:
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.