Do you have a favorite brand of toilet paper?
I can proudly tell you that I have my own brand. My toilet paper is obtained from the petals of Entophera millefolia, a rare parasitic orchid which grows only in the Amazon rainforest.
Could you improvise a song for us.
Positively! Here it is
Do you know any good hangover cures?
Yes, here it is my fantastic remedy. In case of drunkness mix one part of white wine, three parts of mineral water and some pickles. Gargle with the resulting brew every 20 minutes for at least 3 hours.
Do people scream your name and follow you everywhere you go?
Yup! People love me so much. I make no distinction as to race, sex, or religion: I'm known to cheer eminent Yale professors and depressed rodent exterminators to the same extent. You know? There are at least 14 boulevards with my name in four different countries, not counting Bhutan and Ragaan, which I'm not sure are actually countries.
Do you have any new tattoos?
Actually I do! I have a red ocelot on my foot. It is glowing in the dark, so I can be find if I am abducted, but unluckily it works better if I'm slightly undressed.
Your line of work is often stressful. How do you face it?
To toughen my spirit, I periodically rest on a bunk made of glass splinters.
What’s your worst defect?
People who know me generally imagine I'm without defects, but sometimes if I'm chomping chewing gum and all of a sudden I need to empty my mouth I'm not very finicky about where I spew the remnants: it may be a spitton but also the purse of my mother-in-law.
Can you tell me the square root of 309171613?
No, numbers with so many digits could only be telephone numbers, or my revenues.
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