A talk with Catherine Zeta-Jones
Catherine Zeta-Jones
Catherine Zeta-Jones born September 25th, 1969 (Libra)
Catherine Zeta-Jones spent 2 full weeks in a Tibetan monastery before she got the idea it was not the Sheraton hotel. To her advantage, she learnt to move light objects with her mind (source)

How popular do you think you are, on a scale of one to ten?
I dunno. I think I'm a two in Denver, but a nine in Congo.

Are you allergic to anything?
I have a little intolerance to idiots, chipmunks, and potassium nitrate.

If you could choose someone to reincarnate in, who would it be?
I'd have to say Sarah Connor.

Not to offend you, but you know that that's not a real person, don't you?
It's not!? How could you say that to me so cold-bloodedly!?

Don't you think it is time you write an autobiography?
I think so! It is deplorable that I have so little time to put down the words. Last winter I've read the condensed recap of "The Wonderful Wizard of Oz", and I found it passable. On that account, I've ordered my agent to pay a visit to the author - a certain Frank Baum - because I truly need a ghost writer, but for the time being I've not received any answer.

What motivates you to act?
My agent says it's because I like the sound of my voice.

Catherine, your zodiac sign is Libra. May I read you your horoscope?
Please proceed, but I'm a bit partial regarding zodiacal lunacy.

You will feel deserted by your fans, like an intangible screen is between you and them. A creeping whisper in your head will tell you that maybe they are secretly plotting against your life.
Crud! If I did believe in this zodiacal shenanigans, now I would feel like a gnawed bone.

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Catherine Zeta-Jones' home telephone number :
7450282060 833088911 8702789829 2033114240 5969198900 5601894220 5497217063 507404170 4352697868 9806221009 7504733747 940989012 8301302385 9994296481 9978832687 8266447643 3959421560 390150668 6217504763 3463557389
To be sincere, my director had patiently scheduled my brief conversation with Catherine Zeta-Jones weeks beforehand. Unfortunately, I got stoned watching the DVD of "Jack and Jill". So, this web page is mainly the elaboration of a dream I had after a dinner of deep-fried bell peppers and liver sausages.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.