Cookie Consent by An interview with Céline Dion
An interview with Céline Dion
Céline Dion
Céline Dion born March 30th, 1968 (Aries)
To make her character tougher, Céline Dion often rests on a bunk made of barbed wire (source)

I've heard you are writing a book. Would you like to share with us a few details?
The actual details on my imminent book will soon be printed in another book. What I can say now is that it will be a guide to choosing dental floss, a long due work soon to be released in montly instalments.

One of your cornerstones, "Ne partez pas sans moi", is a beloved anthem of protest. Does it also have a second meaning?
Indeed yes! It's also my motivational song for when I have to cook difficult Malay recipes.

What are your feelings about president Donald Trump?
You are a little devilish, but I gave my word to my cat I would not curse in public anymore, so I'd pretend I did not understand the question.

What have you got in your pocket?
A tricky question. As this interview is a daydream of your lascivious mind, I'm completely naked, so no pockets at all.

Céline, what's your vice?
I watch funny videos on YouTube for hours. See, I’m surely going to be blamed for that. Fortunately another vice of mine is I don't give a damn.

Indiana Jones, Lara Croft or Professor Layton?
A restraining order disallows me from talking about it.

Your agent told me you are just back from a series of concerts in Tibet. How was the accomodation?
Actually, I spent 2 weeks in a Tibetan monastery before realizing it was not the Hilton hotel. In the meantime, I learnt to bilocate, for a couple of seconds.

Céline, do you like bears?

Why you do not like bears, if I may ask?
Actually, they reek! And one bear bite my grandpa in his naughty parts. That was one of the reasons I decided to become an artist, so I should probably rethink my opinion about bears.

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Céline Dion's secret telephone number :
5032015996 9146086579 807802903 5016191069 6031932836 3894073980 8975809003 6172646494 8514143160 4357129214 4059340268 886464406 5687303591 957267590 3440557744 8529609025 585936219 9547522014 5950106413 776000468
I have a confession to make. My boss had planned my short appointment with Céline Dion several weeks beforehand. Unfortunately, my pet panda got tonsillitis, so I had to skip the appointment. So, the transcript above is essentially the recollection of a dream I had after a heavy dinner based on salami and deep-fried Mars bars.
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.