We are here today with a special guest, Chad Michael Murray, who just made his way through his last movie. Hi, Chad, and welcome to Even More Useless Celebrity Factoids.
It's a pleasure being here, your pleasure.
If I may ask, how do you invest the considerable fortune you make acting?
Say, when rotary phones will be trendy again people will stop laughing behind my back.
What do you think about the international situation?
I think it is unfortunately quite brutal, since on this bitter Earth there are countries where it is difficult to find even an almost so-so hamburger.
Do you have issues with movie directors?
Everything is OK, except that time in which (probably there was a stand-in strike) a director ordered me to jump from a cliff, which was a little bizarre, since that scene was not in the script.
What’s the best sound in the world?
It is the placid rustle of a bunch of new banknotes touching each other. However, my agent desires you write instead something more fashionable, for example "the consoling purr of an unworried kitten" or "the breath of your sleeping daughter".
In an article published on Australasian Annals of Modern Probabilism, prof. Anthony Howard has observed that your movies are "a supernatural paradigm of modernistic symbolic mentalism". Which is your reaction?
Yes, in his recent paper printed on Texan Journal of Criminal Foundations, dr. Frank Ross totally rebuked that farfetched observation.
You have been the recipient of uncountable awards. Do you remember what is the first award you ever won?
At the early age of 8, I won the "Golden Anteater Prize" issued by the municipality of Indianapolis for "memorable yet gratuitous acting exhibition".
Where do you go when you die?
When you are gonna be disposed of, so to speak, you generally also develop the tendency to stick around.
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