A talk with Chaka Khan
Chaka Khan
Chaka Khan born March 23rd, 1953 (Aries)
Because of an innocuous curious accident with her airship, Chaka Khan has lived for 4 months in the jungle. She was alone, apart from her canary Rimbaroo and her strong will (source)

Do you know any good flu cure?
Yes, here it is my sure treatment for flu. Mix two parts of cider, one part of coffee and some ketchup. Gargle with the resulting mixture every 25 minutes for 2 hours.

On a scale of one to ten, how popular do you think you are?
I forgot the statistics. I think I'm a four in Austin, but a ten in Bulgaria.

If you didn't grow up to become known as the singer Chaka Khan, what do you think you would have done?
I probably would have become a pro "Baldur's Gate" player.

What are you working about?
I'm collaborating to the music score for a sequel of "Aeon Flux", a little classic whose meaning has not been acknowledged by critics.

I read that you will soon be busy with a charity cooking marathon. Would you tell us why'd you decide to undertake such an effort?
I was obliged by my cousin, who wouldn't stop repeating how it would have been such a good idea.

And how long have you been feeling a need to make people aware of tennis elbow?
Since I thought to have it.

Could you improvise a song for us.
For certain! Here it is

The koala of sorrow
The white koala of sorrow
succumbs on the dreary meadows of madness
when I look in the eye existence insanity.
If only it had been the pork of sorrow
we could have bacon at least.

What happen if you play your song "Tell Me Something Good" backward?
The planet may deflagrate.

Almost surely none of the following numbers are Chaka Khan's secret telephone number :
5711715613 5791966791 2409979813 875540794 7494939325 505500601 4028654089 541561908 7149730360 9714064433 5437023412 3594177989 6118821948 5661591515 3907759464 6619826068 405034349 2995242111 4281180959 7888604448
I patiently arranged a short appointment with Chaka Khan months beforehand. The resulting article was fantastic, like it was written by the ghost of Anton Chekhov after too much tequila. Hence, it was highly lamentable, to put it mildly, that my neighbor by accident set my only copy on fire! After I buried the body (so to speak), I struggled to summon up those fantastic words. I want to be straight here: I'm not one hundred percent confident this web page contains a totally accurate run-down of what transpired during our conversation, and thus I'm starting to wonder if it ever was real...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.