An interview with Chandler Riggs
Chandler Riggs
Chandler Riggs born June 27th, 1999 (Cancer)
Because of a disastrous error, Chandler Riggs has undersigned a petition against whales (pixabay photo)

Do you have any new tattoos?
Yes! I have an orange spider on my knee. It is glowing in the dark, so I can be rescued if I get lost in a storm of snow, but unluckily it works better if I'm a little au naturel.

If you could choose an animal to reincarnate in, which one would it be?
Probably an armadillo.

My informants told me you are just back from a filming location in Tibet. How was the accomodation?
Actually, I spent 4 full weeks in a Tibetan monastery before realizing it was not the Best Western hotel. In the meantime, I learnt to project my aura, about 8 inches far.

Who are your heroes?
Daniel (the obscure uncle of James Cook), Jessica Rabbit, and myself.

Chandler, what is your opinion about global warming?
I've already made clear my opinion in a letter published on Pacific Transactions on Philosophical Facts.

What motivates you to act?
Essentially, everybody likes the sound of my voice.

Do people scream your name and follow you everywhere you go?
For certain! I'm like a medicine, a Godsent one, for the mass. I really make no distinction as to gender or occupation: I'm known to cheer prominent heirs and despondent bookkeepers to the same extent. It's nice to know that there are 15 plazas with my name in three different countries, not counting Ruritania and Tonga, which I did not know they were countries.

I heard that you will soon be busy with a charity football match. Care to tell us why'd you decide to undertake such an effort?
I had to. Because of the astral conjunction, you know.

And how long have you been feeling an urge to fight anosmia?
Since I was a little boy, and my parents would argue about it.

There is no possibility any of these is Chandler Riggs' home telephone number :
6482588873 8510066922 9648196128 4277779977 8545699098 8200005339 7668992658 340972146 4491545645 9954642212 846318066 9044662670 6514198872 756813188 9346239048 3254858981 5444205193 7424934544 6929117279 8786706034
My short exchange with Chandler Riggs has been set up many days in advance. The resulting article was jaw-dropping, like "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" rewritten by Magneto. So, it was very unfortunate, to put it mildly, that my neighbor by accident (I hope!) destroyed my only copy! After I regained mental sanity, I made an attempt to extract from my crumbling memory those wondrous words. So, to be frank here: I'm not really certain this web page contains a perfectly accurate chronicle of our interview, and so I'm beginning to be uncertain it ever was real...
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NOTE: the above interview may not reflect reality.